Murphy's Law
by Peonywinx
Summary: While the team investigates the shady world of drug dealing, undercover, as always, is part of the job - but this particular op is different, especially when you consider the changing relationship between Callen and Kensi. Now throw the inescapable Murphy's Law - anything that can go wrong, will - and it might very well lead to disaster.
1. Prologue

_**A/N: Yes, yes, yes - I'm back, with yet another NCIS: Los Angeles fic. This will be my fourth NCIS: LA story - fourth! I think I just broke a record - most unrelated stories in a single fandom!  
><strong>_

_**Anyway, I started working on this while **What We Do **was posting, so it was a simple matter to continue it until I could post it. I only have a few more chapters to write, and enough chapters in between to keep you busy.**_

_**There will be another author's note at the bottom to explain the format of this story to you, but for now: enjoy!**_

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><p><em>Prologue<em>

They were on their way in; soon, this would all be over. They would rescue their teammates and get the hell out of there; they'd close the op and return to OSP, where things would go back to normal.

Or so they told themselves. Truthfully, each of them knew that the danger was very real – too real – and there was a very good chance that this could all go very wrong, very fast, and they wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. But still they hoped that they could pull this off.

They had to pull this off, or their agents were toast.

It was not to be.

The crack of the gun stopped them cold in their tracks. Glancing fearfully at each other for the tiniest fraction of a second – each reading the raw terror in the others' eyes – they proceeded on their way. Bursting through the door with a yell of, "Federal agents!", they held their guns at the ready.

The bad guys froze and swung their own weapons around. The resulting firefight was intense, but nothing they hadn't been through before.

It was what came after the fight that broke them.

With every villain down for the count, there was no one left to distract them from the sight they'd been dreading.

Their agent, barely conscious, on the floor, bleeding profusely out of two very fatal-looking gunshot wounds.

And then the cold fear washed over them like an ocean, and they threw themselves into a panicked flurry of activity. One of them knelt next to the fallen agent, pressing fabric against the wounds; one called Eric, demanding an ambulance _now_; two rushed around to make sure the building was secure; and the fifth agent, the other one who had been in the building, stood rooted to the spot, unsure what to do. That fifth agent and the one bleeding on the floor had gone through way too much – some good, some bad – in the past few months – and for this to happen…

It was worse than a nightmare come true.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Yes, I know it was short - but prologues usually are. But, short as it was, I hope it got you hooked (*grins evilly*). **_

_**So, this story will be multi-chaptered (obviously), but I don't yet know how many chapters there will be in total, 'cause I haven't quite finished it yet. As you might guess, given that the prologue pretty much dropped you right in the heat of things, the story will develop by going back in time before it leads up to the present and beyond. The titles of each chapter will tell you how far back (or forward) it is in relation to the prologue (the present). Also, don't expect the story to stick to canon after **Deadline **(Season 3 Episode 4), as I've only written it to fit the show up till that point - mainly because the next episode hasn't aired yet!  
><strong>_

_**With that said, I will of course be updating daily, so I will see you tomorrow with Chapter 1!**_

_**P.S. If you read the prologue carefully, I'm sure you've noticed that there are more agents than usual ;) You'll have to read to find out where the extra two came from.**_


	2. One Week Earlier

_**A/N: Thank you, thank you, for the wonderful response you guys gave this story. Thank you to my seven reviewers, **_terken, SP SVU B, snookie16, ChlollieRockz, Rebel Magnus, StargateFreak33, **and **_TwilightPony21**. Thank you to **montydam, Lindsay1993, **and **MyLifeMyLove **for putting this story on alerts, and thank you to **bookluver10145679 **and **kayden444 **for putting it on favorites. Special thanks to those who did two or more of the above - you know who you are.**___

_**Now, before we get into chapter one, let me warn you that all the proper chapters for this story are quite long - none of them has a word count lower than 2,500. The average number of words per chapter is about 2,700 or 2,800. So you can't complain about having not enough to read, can you?**_

_**Enjoy.**_

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><p><em>Chapter 1: One Week Earlier<em>

The day dawned bright and sunny in the City of Angels, causing every active-bodied young male to head for the beach to catch the magnificent waves with their surfboard.

Every unobligated male, that is.

Marty Deeks, LAPD liaison with NCIS OSP, felt the world was being totally unfair. Here it was, a glorious day that looked like it had been specially ordered from Mother Nature itself, and he was stuck in a condemned office building filing paperwork – because, quite frankly, he was terrified of his boss.

One would assume that any boss who could make a hardened undercover operative like Deeks quake in his boots would have to be tall, loud-voiced, and hot-tempered. Not so.

Henrietta Lange was neither loud-voiced nor hot-tempered; and nor could she be considered anywhere near tall. Standing at around four feet, she was a veritable dwarf. Yet she had made men twice her size fear her. It was in the way she glared at them, the way she sweetly suggested certain (oftentimes dire) consequences when her wishes weren't fulfilled, the way she imbued her polite words with promises of punishment. For the life of him Deeks couldn't figure out how she did it, but she did it. He'd seen even Sam, a highly trained agent with notable muscle power, scramble to get something done just because Hetty told him to.

And if a former Navy SEAL feared Hetty that much, what chance did a significantly scrawnier, less trained LAPD cop stand?

So yes, the world was unfair. What had he done to deserve this?

Deeks sighed as he signed sheet after sheet of his paperwork. Across the bullpen, Kensi Blye, NCIS Special Agent (and his partner), looked up from her own stack of paperwork to glare at him in annoyance.

"Deeks, I swear if you sigh again…" She left the threat hanging.

"I'm just exhaling!" he protested. "You're gonna kill me for breathing now?"

"Breathe quietly," she told him. "We've all got our own work to do, so suck it up."

How true. It wasn't just Deeks stuck inside doing paperwork on this fine day. Hetty, tired of the sky-high stacks of unfinished documents piling up on their desks, had ordered the entire team to take one day to sort through and finish all their paperwork. And by all, she meant _all_ – and heaven help them if they left even one space unfilled.

"How did it get so bad?" Callen wondered, staring at his own stack of paper – which was, incidentally, significantly higher than any of his teammates' respective piles.

Sam snorted. "What'd you do, G – avoid any paperwork since last year?"

"I didn't think I had this much to do."

"Uh-huh." Sam clearly didn't believe him. "Bet you regret skipping out now, don't you?" His own stack was fairly small; he'd been working on it off and on.

"How was I supposed to know Hetty would make us do it all in one go?" Callen asked mournfully.

"Who can ever predict what Hetty's going to do?" Deeks pointed out.

"Can you guys all just quit complaining and do it already?" Kensi demanded irritably.

Sam and Deeks exchanged glances. For the past couple of months, Kensi had been acting a bit oddly. Her fuse was shorter than usual, and despite their frequent attempts to ask what was wrong, she never replied. All they were sure about was that it had something to do with Callen, because whenever Kensi's strange new behavior manifested itself – like now – something crossed his face, like a fleeting pang of emotion that was indiscernable because it passed so fast.

It was also evident in the way Kensi and Callen's relationship had changed. There was no longer any witty banter, any doughnut sharing – hell, Callen didn't even call Kensi by his pet name for her – Kenz – anymore. They didn't flat out ignore each other, and they were professional enough not to let it affect their work (much); but it was clear that something had happened between them.

Sam hated to admit it, but lately it felt like the team was falling apart. Kensi was increasingly short-tempered; Callen had clammed up more than usual; and the way they were working together just wasn't as smooth as it used to be. Sam couldn't understand it, and he wondered if maybe Hetty had an ulterior motive for forcing them to do paperwork. Maybe she was hoping one day cooped up together with nothing to do but tedious paperwork would force them to talk and clear the air, so they could once again become the team they used to be.

Well, what was the harm in trying?

"So…how was your weekend, G?" he asked casually.

Callen shrugged indifferently. "Same old, same old. Did a few chores, shopped for groceries, did some spring-cleaning…"

"I didn't know you _had _anything to clean," Kensi remarked – not quite acidly, but there was a barbed point in her tone nonetheless.

Callen sighed. "Kensi…"

Kensi looked down, avoiding his gaze, signing her name harder than necessary on her current paper. "Just forget it," she mumbled.

Callen, however, was not to be deterred. "We need to talk," he said.

"Yeah, we do," Kensi agreed, finally meeting his eyes.

Something passed between them; like an unknown recognition neither Sam nor Deeks could make head or tails of. But then, Callen and Kensi often talked through their eyes. It seemed that whatever had happened between them, they hadn't lost that.

Callen broke away first. "All right," he relented. He turned back to his paperwork.

Kensi observed him for just a few seconds before she discarded her sheet and picked up the rest of her undone pile.

"Where are you going?" Deeks wanted to know.

"Someplace quiet," Kensi replied, walking away with her paperwork.

Sam and Deeks stared after her, then turned to study Callen. Neither said anything, though both were dying to know what was going on. After a few seconds, they returned to their paperwork.

Callen was aware of their scrutiny, and he also knew that they deserved the truth. He knew they would find out soon, but he was trying to put off the revelation because…well, because he himself had no idea how something that had started so wonderfully had ended up in such a tangled mess.

* * *

><p><em>It had been a particularly difficult day. The drug trafficking case was closed, but it had opened old wounds. The fact that Talbot had turned out to be a cold-blooded murderer with fake PTSD didn't help any.<em>

_ Callen had noticed the toll this case had taken on Kensi. First, the moment when she had to reveal her engagement to Jack – it couldn't have been easy bringing down her walls and laying all her pain bare like that – then, her fight with Talbot that left her unconscious with a swollen bump on her head. And throughout the case there was always that sadness in her eyes, the underlying layer of hurt that was difficult to hide when the case struck so close to home._

_ She'd seemed fine when she left with Deeks to join him in whatever he did on Christmas Eve, but Callen knew better. He'd seen her still-defensive posture, heard the slight restraint in her words. He knew she wasn't fine._

_ So, he resolved to stop by her house later to see how she was doing._

_ He wasn't sure how long her thing with Deeks would take, so it was almost midnight by the time he knocked on her door._

_ "Callen?" Kensi was clearly surprised. "What are you doing here?"_

_ "Just wanted to make sure you're okay," he replied. And just like that, he could see her walls go up._

_ "I'm fine," she said, almost convincingly._

_ "Kenz, you're talking to a guy who says that even more than you do," he told her. "I know that when people say 'fine', they don't really mean it."_

_ "Callen," she began._

_ "Come on," he coaxed. He held up a paper bag. "I brought doughnuts."_

_ Kensi quirked her eyebrow at his grin, then relented and stood by to let him come in._

_ "So what'd you do with Deeks?" he asked conversationally after they had settled on the couch with a doughnut each. The TV was switched on to some random channel – National Geographic – that they weren't paying attention to._

_ "He took me to a soup kitchen," Kensi replied, biting into her doughnut._

_ "Really?" Callen asked. "Huh. Who would've thought?"_

_ "Mm-hm." She was holding back, and he knew it. She put up a good front, but she was definitely not fine. He knew better than to push her, though, so he settled back to watch the show until she was ready to talk. The program was surprisingly interesting._

_ Kensi realized Callen wasn't going to leave. She nibbled on her doughnut while she tried to figure out whether she wanted to tell him the story he was waiting for._

_ "I usually leave."_

_ Callen turned to her, sensing a coming onslaught of painful backstory. "What?"_

_ "At Christmas. I usually leave." Kensi pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them._

_ "Because of Jack?" he asked gently. She nodded._

_ "I can't stand to be around anything familiar, because it reminds me – of _him _– so I usually run somewhere unfamiliar and stay there till Christmas is over."_

_ "Why didn't you this year?"_

_ "I guess I wanted to see if I could stick it out. I can't have him haunting me forever." She snorted. "Clearly, we saw how well _that _worked out."_

_ "Kenz, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Callen said._

_ She gave him a small smile. "It's okay. Maybe it'll help to get it off my chest."_

_ Callen nodded and waited expectantly._

_ "I thought Jack was the one," Kensi said softly. "The night he proposed, I was so happy – everything was perfect. Then he was deployed, and I was so scared he wouldn't come back – but when he did, he wasn't my Jack anymore. He was always panicking, jumping at every little noise, muttering about the war – sometimes he didn't even recognize me. So I guess, in a way, he _didn't _come back._

_ "It killed me that I couldn't do anything to help – to bring back _my _Jack. I tried everything – but no matter what I did, it wasn't enough." She inhaled deeply, blinking away nonexistent tears. "And then, that morning when I woke up and he was gone, I was hurt – but I was also relieved, because the stranger who had taken over Jack's body wasn't there anymore." She looked at Callen. "Does that make me a terrible person?"_

_ "'Course not, Kenz," he assured her._

_ "I just…I was glad I didn't have to deal with him anymore, but at the same time I kept wishing for him to come back…" There were real tears now; they leaked out of her eyes as she relived that Christmas morning._

_ On impulse, Callen reached out and held her in his arms. "Shh, Kenz…it's okay."_

_ He held her until she sniffled and pulled away._

_ "Sorry," she apologized._

_ "Don't be," he told her. She smiled wanly at him._

_ "Anyway, that's when I started my no-second-date rule," she continued. "Jack left me alone, and I didn't want that to happen with anyone else. I didn't want to deal with the pain again. It's more hurt than it's worth. So I've stuck to that rule. There can't be hurt if there's no commitment."_

_ Callen could understand that well enough. But he also needed Kensi to understand something. He didn't want her thinking she couldn't depend on anyone._

_ "Kenz, look at me," he said, lifting her chin. "I know you've had a bad experience before, but that doesn't mean you can't trust anyone."_

_ She stared at him, her brown eyes boring into his face, as if daring him to continue that train of thought when he himself was such a lone wolf._

_ "Okay, maybe you can't," he amended. "But I know at least six people you can count on."_

_ She smiled, knowing exactly which people he was talking about._

_ "I'll never leave, Kenz," Callen continued seriously. "Sam and Deeks and Eric and Nell – and Hetty – they won't leave either. You're stuck with us." He smiled as he leaned closer._

_ What he didn't expect was for her to lean forward too; the distance between them closed rapidly, and their lips met._

_ The touch was like fire, igniting a hidden spark of unknown emotions within them and fanning flames across their bodies._

_ When they broke the kiss they stared at each other, feeling the boundary line between work and personal life dissolve into nothing._

_ "We shouldn't do this," Kensi whispered, breathing hard._

_ "No," Callen agreed. "We shouldn't."_

_ Yet somehow, they ended up on Kensi's bed that night._

* * *

><p>"Miss Blye?"<p>

Kensi looked up from the papers she'd been filling out on the floor of the balcony to see Hetty gazing kindly at her.

"Oh, hi, Hetty. I hope you don't mind that I'm doing my paperwork up here. It's just…"

"I know, Miss Blye," Hetty said understandingly. Kensi nodded.

Though they had done their utmost to keep their 'relationship' a secret from everyone at work, both Callen and Kensi knew they weren't fooling Hetty. That woman had a way of knowing when she was being lied to, and though she never actually said anything, both knew that she knew.

They'd both expected her to put a stop to it once she found out, but she surprised them by not saying a word. They knew she knew that they knew she knew (if that even made any sense) – but both were astonished when she made no move to prevent their seeing each other. They'd discussed it privately among themselves – why didn't she stop them? Did she know as much as they thought she did? Or (unlikely) had they actually managed to keep it from her?

Either way, neither Callen nor Kensi brought up the topic with Hetty, and Hetty herself certainly didn't. It was like an odd, three-way understanding between them: don't ask, don't tell – or rather, it was like Hetty had an unspoken rule that they understood somehow without her saying anything about it: keep it to yourselves, don't let it affect your work, and I won't say anything.

Lately, though, that had gone out the window. Hetty could not possibly be oblivious to the current tension between Callen and Kensi. They all still hadn't actually said it out loud, but Hetty knew things were going badly, even if she didn't exactly know why. Kensi was quite confident only she and Callen knew why their 'thing' wasn't working out.

But Hetty was surprisingly understanding for an outsider. Kensi knew she could trust her. Hetty was here on the balcony as a friend, not as her boss. So the young agent, quite unexpectedly, found herself pouring out her troubles to the motherly woman.

"Hetty, I don't know what to do," she confessed. "I don't even know what's going on anymore between Callen and me. It was great at first, but then we started going downhill. I just…I want so much more than what he can give me."

"You want a real relationship," Hetty surmised.

Kensi nodded. "And he can't give it to me, because of his past."

"Yes," Hetty agreed. "His past haunts him, even now. But I'm sure even you can see he doesn't want to lose you."

"I think we're at that stage, Hetty," Kensi confided. "That part of a relationship that makes or breaks it – when we can only either move on or break up. Hetty, I want to move on, but I don't think he does. What do I do?"

Hetty sighed. Who could have guessed Callen and Kensi would ever have started a relationship? The fact that they were both emotionally damaged made it a near impossibility – and it also made things very complicated.

"I can't tell you that, Miss Blye," Hetty said. "But I do have some advice. If, as you say, you are in that determining period of a relationship, then perhaps it would be best for you to ride it out and see what happens. No one can say what the future will bring, after all."

"And if the relationship breaks?" Kensi asked, hoping Hetty had the answer she sought. "Then what? We just go back to normal, like we were three months ago?"

"Miss Blye, I am not going to discuss 'if's with you. What will be, will be – come what may, we will decide what to do as things happen." Hetty turned to go, businesslike once more. "I still want that paperwork on my desk by the end of the evening, Miss Blye."

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><p><strong><em>AN: Each chapter will have a flashback scene (or two) to explain what happened between Callen and Kensi. So, in effect, you'll be reading two stories. Hope that doesn't get you too confused. Also, this fic is much heavier on the romance and angst that _**_What We Do, **so I hope I wrote it well enough that the characters aren't **too **OOC.**_**_  
><em>**

**_Till tomorrow, people!_**


	3. Six Days Earlier

_**A/N: Hello again. Today I want to thank **terken, moviefanatic17, Rebel Magnus, **and **TwilightPony21 **for their lovely reviews. Also thanks to **jane laird **and **brownjar **for putting this story on alerts - same goes for **Pappel **for favoriting and **quiltingbren **for putting ME on alerts. Additional thanks to **moviefanatic17 **for putting the story on alerts as well.**_

_**Oh, and before I forget - I do not own **NCIS: Los Angeles **in any way, shape or form. Don't expect me to say it again.**_

_**Brace yourselves - 'cause this chapter measures over 3,000 words.**_

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><p><em>Chapter 2: Six Days Earlier<em>

Sam came in to work to find Callen passed out on the couch. With a resigned sigh, the ex-SEAL resolved not to wake him up; although he'd very much prefer it if Callen spent his nights at home, his partner needed his sleep – and if he needed the couch in the bullpen to get it, so be it. Sam settled down at his desk.

However, after about ten minutes, boredom set in. No one else was here yet, he had no case to work, and thanks to Hetty, he didn't even have paperwork to keep himself busy.

Sam was just contemplating going up to Ops to chat with Eric and Nell when Callen stirred, yawned, and sat up.

"Morning, G," Sam greeted. For a second, Callen looked surprised to see him.

"Morning," he returned. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Sam just gave him a look. Callen chuckled slightly.

"Okay," he acknowledged. He made his way over to his desk.

Sam hesitated before speaking again. He wanted to ask, yet again, what was going on between Callen and Kensi, but he couldn't bring himself to. Not yet. So instead, what came out was, "Did you manage to finish all your paperwork?"

Callen glanced at him, and Sam knew that he knew that wasn't what he was going to ask. His partner's eyes sent him a grateful word of thanks as he replied, "Yeah. Took me all night, though – which is why I ended up crashing on the couch."

This wasn't strictly true, but Sam didn't need to know that. The fact was, Callen didn't feel like going home when he knew no one would be with him there. Oh, it wasn't like Kensi had moved in – more often than not it was her place they stayed at – but until recently, whenever he'd been home, Kensi was with him. Somehow she'd helped turn that empty house into a home, and without her it was just that – empty. Bare, unfilled, devoid – not even a good place to spend the night.

Funny how a few times there with one person had so drastically changed his view of what a house – a home – should be like.

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><p><em>Callen knew who was standing outside his house the moment he heard the subtle knocking on his door. With a sigh, he stood up and prepared himself to play the ever collected, cool-headed team leader.<em>

_That plan crumbled to dust the minute he pulled the door open. Kensi took one look at him and frowned._

_"Quit pretending, Callen. I know you're not fine."_

_He had to smile wryly at how well she knew him. Without protesting, he let her in._

_"Still haven't got any furniture, I see," Kensi remarked, making small talk._

_Callen shrugged. "You want anything to drink?" he offered._

_"No, thanks," she declined. She looked him in the eye. "Callen, you know why I'm here."_

_He nodded. "I know. And I appreciate it, but you really didn't have to."_

_"Like you didn't have to visit me on Christmas Eve?" she countered, the challenge clear in her eyes._

_"That was different," he argued. "You were personally involved in the case – and Talbot hurt you."_

_"It was not," she scoffed. "You wanted to make sure I was okay – well, I'm doing the same for you."_

_He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"_

_Kensi blushed, recalling how she'd woken up that morning with her clothes strewn all over the bedroom, and Callen lying, equally undressed, next to her._

_After they had recovered from the shock of what they had just done, they'd both promised not to let it happen again. They couldn't _afford_ to let it happen again – not with their work. It was too dangerous. And besides, if they continued, they'd be breaking all sorts of rules, and they couldn't have that._

_So why did she feel like she'd be willing to break the same rules again?_

_"Don't bring that up, Callen," she warned him, bringing her emotions under control. "We promised never to speak of it again."_

_ "And yet here we are," he said – needlessly. She scowled at him._

_ "G, I'm serious. We can't let it happen again." She looked at him, obviously expecting a reply._

_ It was the first time she'd ever called him by his first name – well, letter – and he was surprisingly entranced by it. So he didn't immediately answer her._

_ "Callen!" She sounded more urgent now. He snapped his head around to look at her. "Did you hear me? We can't let it happen again," she stressed._

_ "Yeah, Kenz, I hear you." _

_ "Good." Her expression softened. "So…" she began hesitantly, "how are you?"_

_ "I'm fine," he answered immediately._

_ The frown was back on her face. "You remember what you told me about people who say they're fine?"_

_ Damn. Now she was using his own words against him._

_ Kensi sighed. "G," she said, walking over to him, "don't worry about it. We'll get that last canister eventually."_

_ "I know that," he said, ignoring the strange thrill he experienced when he heard her say his letter again. _

_ "And it is not your fault that we didn't get it today," she told him firmly. She was closer now; he could feel the warmth of her skin. Without thinking, Callen reached out to grasp her hand._

_ She immediately jerked it back. "Callen…" The warning was clear in her tone and in her eyes._

_ "I know," he admitted, shoving his hand into his pocket. "We shouldn't do it. That's exactly what we said last time." His eyes told her all._

_ Her expression changed again, to a queer mixture of annoyance and longing. _

_ "Damn it, Callen," she sighed, more resigned than angry. Truth be told, she could feel the chemistry between them, and it was taking all her restraint not to do what she wanted to do._

_ "No one has to know, Kenz," he said persuasively. He was immediately surprised at the words coming out of his mouth, but he didn't stop. "We're professionals. We can keep it from affecting our jobs. Why can't we try?"_

_ "What happened to your rule about dating law enforcement?" she asked, even as she helplessly leaned closer._

_ "Every rule has exceptions," he told her, taking her hand again._

_ With that, the last of her restraint crumbled away, and she let her passion overtake her as he kissed her._

* * *

><p>"G," Sam began, and Callen knew they'd reached the point he didn't want to talk about. "We need to talk about you and Kensi."<p>

Callen sighed.

"Come on, G," Sam pressed. "This has been going on long enough. What happened between you two?"

"It's…complicated," was all Callen could think of to say.

"Did you fight about something? Disagree about a case?" Sam prodded.

"Something like that." Callen could see Sam was getting frustrated by the lack of explanation, but he suddenly decided that he couldn't say anymore. "Look, I know you deserve to know, especially since it's affecting you and Deeks – but this is between me and Kensi. Under other circumstances I would tell you, but this…" He exhaled. "It doesn't just involve me, Sam." He shook his head. "Believe me, you'll probably find out soon anyway."

"Oh, will I?" Sam arched his eyebrow, masking his frustration. His partner's secretiveness was a constant thorn in his side – but what could he do? Callen was Callen, and in this particular case, he was at least partially right – whatever it was that was happening between him and Kensi, it was personal, and most likely difficult to explain.

Sam just didn't know how right he was – or how intensely personal it really was. Callen himself had only an inkling of how deep his thing with Kensi went – mostly because he hadn't taken the time to think it through properly.

* * *

><p><em>"Callen, what are we doing?" Kensi asked.<em>

_ They were on the couch in her house, snuggled close together and playing with their hands, exploring the different ways their fingers could connect. At her question, however, Callen threaded his fingers through hers and gripped her hand securely. She leaned her head against his chest as she waited for his answer._

_ Callen, for his part, was pondering her query, trying to find the answer. By now they'd been seeing each other for over a month; however, as they were both pros at deception, no one knew about them. They kept their relationship tightly under wraps; at work it was business as usual, and no one suspected that they saw a lot more of each other than they let on._

_ Both had doubts about Hetty, though._

_ But even after all this time, he still had no idea where it was going. So he replied honestly. _

_ "I don't know," he admitted._

_ "That's not the answer I was hoping for," Kensi sighed._

_ "I know," said Callen, "but it's the only one I've got."_

_ She hesitated before asking her next question. "Do you ever think we should stop?"_

_ He smiled wryly. "All the time." Then he leaned towards her, his free hand traveling up her back to stroke her hair; she shivered at his touch. He turned his head and lowered his voice to a near whisper. "But you know something?"_

_ Kensi moved closer, molding her body to the shape of his embrace, knowing what he was going to say next._

_ "I don't want to."_

* * *

><p>Sam sighed, sensing that Callen was not going to say anymore.<p>

"I get it, G," he said. "I do. But whatever this thing is, you've gotta get it sorted out. It's distracting both of you, and that could prove fatal when you're out in the field."

"Kensi and I are both professionals," Callen disagreed. "We can still do our jobs."

"I'm not saying you can't. You've proved you can." Sam's face was serious as he continued, "I'm saying you can't do them as well as you did before this thing started."

Callen opened his mouth to deny it, to defend himself, but then he closed it again. He couldn't object to that because, much as he hated to admit it, Sam was right.

* * *

><p><em>Callen opened his door to find Kensi standing on the doorstep.<em>

_ "Kenz."_

_ "Where'd you go, Callen?" she asked as she stepped in._

_ Callen sighed. He should've known this would come up. "I had some personal stuff to take care of."_

_ "What?" she questioned, eyeing him carefully._

_ "It's complicated," Callen replied. Kensi scowled._

_ "Well, your 'personal stuff' left us a man short during the last op. It's a good thing Nate was there to pick up the slack, otherwise Sam might be in the same situation as Moe." Her voice was scathing._

_ Callen looked at her impassively. Hetty had briefed him on the prison op the moment he checked in, of course – but hearing it from Kensi was so much different. And the accusation in her tone struck home – Sam could very well have died during that op. Callen knew if anything had happened because he wasn't there to help, he would never forgive himself. As it was, he was feeling guilty enough because Sam had just lost someone very dear to him. But he couldn't not have gone chasing after his past. That tin soldier was a great clue – or at least, he'd thought it was – and he had jumped at the chance to find out more about his past. However, just like every other time, it had amounted to nothing. Now Callen was left to deal with the hurt and disappointment he'd caused his team._

_ "Kensi…"_

_ "No, don't even try, Callen," she interrupted. "When we started this relationship – or whatever the hell it is – we promised we'd be honest with each other. Running off on a mysterious errand without even notifying any of us is _not _called being honest."_

_ "Kensi, I had to," Callen protested. "Look, it was just a day. And we've all got our secrets."_

_ "I know we do." Her tone had changed; from anger, it was now softer, more vulnerable in nature, and Callen got a glimpse of how he'd disappointed her. As if he needed any more guilt. "But that's not the point. You ran off, didn't tell any of us – we didn't know when you'd be back or _if _you'd be back…" She trailed off, eyes distant. "Callen, you said I could trust you, remember? You said you'd never leave." She threw his words from six weeks ago into his face._

_ "Aw, Kenz…" Callen took a step closer and tentatively wrapped his arms around her. He took it as a good sign when she didn't pry his hands off. "I'm sorry. I was looking for something I knew I probably wouldn't find. But I came back."_

_ "I was scared, G," she admitted softly. "I had no idea where you were, what you were doing, what kind of trouble you were getting into…" _

_ "Trouble? Me?" Callen said lightly, easing the tension._

_ Kensi huffed. "Knowing you, you'd find danger in the safest place on earth."_

_ Callen saw, with relief, that the worst of it was over. But there was one more thing he had to take care of._

_ "Kensi, listen." He hooked his fingers under her chin and lifted her face so he could look into her eyes. "I meant what I said. I won't leave. I might take off sometimes on personal business, like yesterday – but I'll always come back."_

_ "Is that another promise?" she asked, half-skeptically._

_ "You can think of it that way, if you like." He leaned in to kiss her._

* * *

><p>Nell sat in her chair in Ops, absent-mindedly playing with a lock of her red hair as she stared at the wide array of plasma screens in the room.<p>

"I'm bored," she commented to Eric. When he didn't reply, she turned her head to look at him. The technical operator was engrossed in a Call of Duty videogame, oblivious to his surroundings.

"I wonder what Hetty would say if she found out you were playing videogames when you were supposed to be working," Nell remarked casually. This earned her Eric's undivided attention.

"You wouldn't," he said – but there was uncertainty in his voice.

Nell just smiled sweetly at him.

"She probably already knows," Eric pointed out.

"Maybe," Nell conceded. "But you're not sure." At Eric's glare, she kicked her chair towards him and added, "Come on. Get off the videogame for a while and talk to me."

"About what?" Eric asked, reluctantly setting his controller down.

"For starters, Callen and Kensi."

Eric gave her a warning glance. "Don't go there, Nell."

"Come on," she coaxed. "You're not curious?"

"Of course I am, but I've learned not to interfere in their private affairs." He picked up his controller, ready to resume his game.

"We're just gonna be talking between ourselves," Nell reasoned.

"About them," Eric reminded her.

"They're not here, Eric."

"They'll find out."

"How?"

"They have ways. They'll read us." Eric turned back to his game.

Nell observed him for a while before commenting matter-of-factly, "I think they're seeing each other."

At this, Eric's fingers froze on the controller. He slowly turned to face her, his disbelieving expression clear.

"You're kidding, right?" he said incredulously. "How'd you even come up with that?"

"It wasn't easy," she admitted. "They're good at hiding it. But for the last few months they've been really close. Callen's gotten a little bit more protective; Kensi smiles at him more often – and they're always _looking _at each other."

"And you know this how?"

"I'm observant. Come on, you seriously haven't noticed?" At Eric's blank look, Nell corrected herself with a slight roll of her eyes. "Look who I'm talking to. Of course you haven't."

"Sam would have noticed."

"But he didn't. Maybe he's too close."

"Hetty would know about it."

"I'm not saying she doesn't."

Here Eric paused, searching for another angle.

"What makes you so sure you're right?" he asked finally.

"I don't know. But I think I am. You can call it a gut feeling, if you like."

Eric mulled over this for a minute.

"Okay, so say your theory's right," he began. "Then what's going on between them now?"

Nell shrugged. "Maybe the relationship's not working out," she suggested.

Eric shook his head. "You know what? Forget I asked. I'm not having this conversation with you. There is no way Callen and Kensi are seeing each other. It's impossible."

"Wanna bet?" Nell challenged. Eric met her gaze cautiously.

"Sure," he agreed. "Twenty bucks says your theory's way off base."

"Fifty says it isn't," she countered. He blanched a bit.

"You're _that _sure?"

She grinned mischievously at him. He reconsidered.

"Thirty?" he compromised.

"Deal," she agreed.

They shook on it – Nell enthusiastically, Eric still unsure if it was a good idea and wondering how she had roped him into this.

* * *

><p>Down in the bullpen, Sam was wondering where on earth Deeks and Kensi were. It wasn't like them to be so late without at least phoning ahead.<p>

"G, you know where Kensi and Deeks are?" he queried.

"No." Callen glanced at his watch. "It's nine-thirty. They _should _be here by now." He looked up, worried. "You think something might have happened to them?" It was unlikely, he knew – but considering their line of work, it wasn't implausible, and it didn't do to assume everything was fine.

"I'll call Kensi," Sam volunteered, picking up his phone.

"Don't bother," Deeks said as he walked in.

"Deeks, where's Kensi?" Callen inquired. The absence of the only female agent was conspicuous.

"Holed up in her house with some books and a cup of tea," the LAPD liaison replied as he settled at his desk.

"Tea?" Sam echoed. "Kensi never drinks tea."

"She does when she's not feeling well."

"Kensi's sick?" Callen was instantly on alert.

"She's fine," Deeks assured him. "It's just the flu. I dropped by to see how she was doing on my way here."

"And?" Sam prompted.

"And she all but kicked my ass to work," Deeks responded with a chuckle. "Refused to let me stay more than five minutes. But I'll tell you one thing – her place is a mess. I mean, it doesn't _quite _look like a tornado went through it, but it's not what you'd call neat, either…"

Eric's familiar whistle reached their ears, and Deeks cut himself off to head up the stairs with Callen and Sam.

It was time for a new case.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: I'm sure you've noticed by now the references and tie-ins to the show's episodes in the flashbacks. If you're a good NCIS:LA fan, you should know which episodes, but if you don't, that's okay - the episode references aren't really all that important to the story, although the asides could get a little confusing if you don't know what happened.**_

_**Yesterday's flashback was, of course, taken from **Disorder **(Season 2 Episode 11). The flashbacks you've just read refer to **Overwatch **(Season 2 Episode 12) and **Lockup **(Season 2 Episode 14), respectively (the second flashback has no episode allusion).**_

_**Tomorrow's chapter might be a little late, but believe you me, it'll still get posted.**_


	4. Five Days Earlier

_**A/N: Hooray! So, this chapter's not **too **late...**_

_**I'm busy today, so unfortunately, I am unable to reply my reviews via PM, like I've been doing for the past three posts. However, I would still like to show my appreciation to **ChlollieRockz, evershort, Rebel Magnus, SP SVU B, TwilightPony21, **and **terken **for reviewing. Special thanks to **ChlollieRockz **and **evershort, **who both reviewed on consecutive chapters even though they actually read the chapters in one shot. It's really rare to find people who actually bother to take the trouble to submit reviews not just on the most recent chapter, but also on every chapter before that. So thanks, you guys. **_

_**I would also like to thank **Doodle19, evershort **(again), **Nina.4444, **and** Itlsky489 **for favoriting this fic, and **jane laird, mrs seeley booth, **and **lezzles1956 **for putting it on alerts. Thanks also to **Tiana-P, **who did both of the above. Maybe you guys can progress to reviewing next? (wink)  
><strong>_

_**So, anyway, this chapter addresses the issue of the extra agents - let me know what you think of **them**. ;)**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 3: Five Days Earlier<em>

Kensi flipped on her TV and settled down with a cup of tea and a bag of chips to watch. She chuckled a little as she took a sip of tea. Nobody would have guessed that she, the coffee monster, actually drank Hetty's favorite beverage fairly often. She still preferred coffee, but she rather liked the calming effects of a good tea.

Truth be told, it hadn't been entirely necessary for Kensi to stay home today. She'd slogged through a full day's work with much worse than a simple cold before, after all. But today, with everything that was going on with Callen, she was glad for an excuse to stay home. And honestly, a day away from Callen had done her a world of good.

Kensi had just started watching a program when her doorbell rang. Assuming it was Deeks come to check on her again after she kicked him out this morning, she rose to answer – though she reflected wryly that Deeks would be more inclined to press the doorbell multiple times just to irritate her, instead of waiting patiently, like he was now. So it didn't come as a total surprise when she pulled open the door and it wasn't Deeks standing outside.

It _was _a shock to find out exactly who it was, however.

"Nate?" she said incredulously.

* * *

><p><em>The doorbell rang, and Kensi, knowing who would be on the outside, rose to answer it. Sure enough, Callen stood outside, with a bag of Chinese takeout.<em>

_ "Took you long enough," Kensi commented as he stepped in, out of the pouring rain. "Don't you dare get puddles on my floor."_

_ "Hey, I just endured sheets of rain and an unbelievably long line to get your takeout," Callen said lightly, shaking the bag at her._

_ "Come off it, Callen. How long could the line have been? It's raining cats and dogs."_

_ "Oh, you'd be surprised." Callen dried himself off and looked around. "So, are we doing this on the coffee or dining table?"_

_ "Coffee," she said at once. "Project Runway's about to begin."_

_ "_You _watch Project Runway?" he remarked teasingly, handing her her food._

_ "Why is everyone so surprised at that?" Kensi asked as she accepted the takeout box. "A girl's gotta keep up with the trends, you know."_

_ "Yeah, but you're not exactly the girliest girl around," he pointed out._

_ "Oh, you'd rather have me talk about clothes everyday?" She cleared her throat and proceeded to imitate a clothes-crazed fanatic. "Oh, my gosh, I just _love _that outfit! It looks so cool, I wish I had it." She gave him a deadpan look. "Please. Give me a break."_

_ Callen chuckled. "Yeah, you're right," he agreed, as they sat down on the couch. "I really prefer you as you are."_

_ "And I'm glad to hear it." Kensi grabbed the remote and turned the volume up as the Project Runway intro started to play. She leaned closer to Callen as she dug her chopsticks into her takeout box. _

_ "You know, to be honest," she said to him, "I watch this more for the snarky remarks and the drama, and not the clothes."_

_ Callen smirked. "Now _that's _the Kensi I know and l-" He caught himself. Kensi quirked an eyebrow at him, knowing exactly what he was going to say, but allowing the awkward moment to pass without commenting on it._

_ The rest of the night passed without event, but, unusually, Callen didn't stay. After Project Runway was over he said goodnight and left for his own house._

_ It was painfully clear in Kensi's mind that this was the first time since they'd agreed to try a – she wouldn't call it a relationship, exactly – a 'friends-with-benefits arrangement' that they hadn't stayed together at the same place._

* * *

><p>"So, what are you doing here, Nate?" Kensi asked casually. "Last I heard you were somewhere in the Middle East – Qatar, I think."<p>

Nate smiled slightly. "That was a misdirection. I never left Yemen."

"Oh." Not the most intelligent of things to say, but this wasn't exactly a normal visit. "So what were you doing there?"

Nate didn't answer, but instead cocked his head and studied her. He didn't bother to hide what he was doing, because they both knew he was here to do precisely that.

Kensi was on her fourth cup of tea by now, but Nate still had yet to reveal the real reason for his visit. Although he'd told her that he was here because he'd heard she was feeling a little under the weather, and wanted to see how she was doing, they both knew it wasn't really the reason – and they'd been making light conversation for the past forty minutes. But Kensi had a pretty good idea of what he was actually here about. She was just waiting for him to mention it.

Sure enough, it wasn't long before Nate inquired, "So what's going on between you and Callen?"

Although she'd been expecting that, she still scowled. "Who told you?"

"Hetty," he said simply. "She called me up yesterday and said she thought I was needed more here at this time rather than in Yemen."

"Hetty pulled you from an op in Yemen because she thinks something's going on between Callen and me?"

"She doesn't _think _there's something going on; she _knows _there is," Nate corrected.

Of course, Kensi knew that, but she was still pretending – for Nate's benefit – that there was nothing going on between her and Callen. Nate picked up on this, and looked pained.

"Kensi, please don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about," he requested. "I think we know each other better than that."

Kensi sighed and dropped the charade. It would be an insult to Nate to keep up with it. "Okay, there is something going on between me and Callen."

"And?" Nate prompted.

"And it's none of your business," she told him firmly, in a tone that said 'keep out'.

Nate, however, was either oblivious to the current in her voice, or he chose to ignore it (Kensi decided it was the latter). "I think Hetty made it my business when she pulled me out of Yemen and all but ordered me to come back."

"Well, it's really none of Hetty's business, either," Kensi retorted.

"Hetty makes _everything _her business," Nate pointed out.

Kensi had to laugh at that. "True," she conceded. She took another sip of her tea. Nate did the same, and for a while there was silence.

"You're not going to tell me what this is about, are you?" he said shrewdly after a minute or two.

"Nope."

"I'll figure it out on my own eventually."

"Be my guest."

"Okay," he agreed amicably. "Now that that's over with, how about we _really _catch up with each other, and not just make small talk like earlier?" He tacked on that last bit with a hint of humor.

Kensi smiled at him. "Sure."

* * *

><p>At eleven in the morning the next day, Callen and Sam trudged into the bullpen after interrogating a witness in their latest case to find Kensi back at her desk.<p>

"Morning, Sam, Callen." She nodded at them, without even a hint of unease. Callen noticed this and wondered what she'd done on her day off that she was suddenly so comfortable with him and their…thing.

Sam, however, was just happy she seemed to be back to her usual self. "Morning, Kensi," he returned with a grin. "Feeling better?"

"Ah, it was just the flu." She waved it off. "Eric told me we have a new case?"

"Yeah, dead Marine on the beach." Sam sounded dismissive. "We're still looking for leads – Deeks is with LAPD trying to find out more – but it doesn't seem to be anything major."

"What do you know?" Callen asked suddenly.

Kensi rolled her eyes. "I've been here all of two hours, Callen – how would I possibly know anything –"

"Not about the case," Callen clarified.

"Then what?"

"Whatever that other little thing you know is."

Kensi, much to Callen's surprise, grinned at him for what was probably the first time in several weeks.

"Go to Ops and you'll see," she told him. "On second thought," she added as she rose, "I'll come with you."

More than a little puzzled, Callen and Sam followed Kensi up to Ops, where they found Eric and Nell chatting animatedly with a very familiar person.

"Nate!" Sam called with a grin.

"Hey, Sam," Nate returned.

"Still kicking, I see," Callen said teasingly.

"Still kicking," Nate replied easily. However, he was quietly observing the interaction between Callen and Kensi. Callen, being the skilled operative he was, didn't fail to notice this; and in a sudden flash of understanding, he realized why Kensi was acting so normally towards him – she didn't want Nate to pick up on their tension and guess its source.

For the briefest of moments, Callen locked eyes with Kensi in a single glance that communicated volumes of unspoken words; then Kensi dipped her head and the contact was broken.

"What brings you back to LA?" Sam was asking Nate.

"Oh, Hetty just pulled me back for a while," Nate answered.

Callen knew from the way Kensi was acting that that wasn't why Nate was here. In fact, he was quite sure Hetty had brought him back because of the estrangement between him and Kensi – though he had to admit he was somewhat amazed that Hetty would pull Nate from a mission in the Middle East just for that. But he let none of his conclusions – or the emotions resulting from them – show on his face, and instead asked Eric, "You got anything?"

The techie turned back to the computer. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Campbell seems to be a pretty average person. No criminal record, no dubious dealings, no extraordinary service record – and he was fairly young, so no particular distinction as an officer either."

"Uh, guys," Kensi spoke up. "Can I remind you that I have no idea what this case is about?"

"Our vic is Petty Officer James Campbell; 28 years old, no wife or kids," Callen informed her. "He was found dead on the beach yesterday morning."

"Who do we like for it?" Kensi inquired.

"At the moment, no one," Callen answered. "We haven't been able to find anyone with a motive to kill him."

"Wait a minute, I've got something." Nell's words had all of them looking at her. "According to Campbell's history, he has a connection with one Alex Gordon. The two of them went to the same school and were on the same football team."

"And Alex Gordon ties into this how?" Sam wanted to know.

"Well, I thought the name sounded familiar, so I ran a search on it and I came up with this." Nell tapped a command into the computer to display a series of files on the big screen, then rose from her chair, grabbing her portable keyboard. "Alex Gordon is the suspected leader of one of the most notorious drug trafficking gangs in LA. Nothing's been confirmed, but local law enforcement does believe him to be behind several drug rings."

Eric, acting on this information, typed commands into his computer in an attempt to gain more information, but he came up dry. "I've got nothing," he told them.

"I, on the other hand, do have something," said Hetty's voice. Everybody turned to see the short Operations Manager coming into the room. "Mr. Campbell was part of an operation attempting to prove once and for all whether or not Alex Gordon is, in fact, a drug lord. However, the op went south, as I'm sure you can see."

"Which agency organized the op?" Callen questioned.

"We did, Mr. Callen," Hetty replied. "Director Vance supervised the project with one of our top operatives."

"In OSP?" Callen asked.

"No."

"Then who?"

"Special Agent Mike Renko. He'll be here in a few minutes to brief you."

* * *

><p>Callen and Kensi sat at their desks in the bullpen, waiting for Renko to show. Nate was still up in Ops with Eric and Nell, Sam was in the bathroom, and Deeks had yet to return, so Callen took the opportunity to speak to Kensi privately.<p>

"Kensi."

She sighed as she turned to look at him.

"We're not good, are we?" he inquired.

"No, we're not," she answered candidly. "The normalcy act is for Nate. Whatever our disagreements, I don't think either of us wants him to find out exactly what's happening, do we?"

"No, we don't," Callen agreed. "But Kensi, we need to talk."

"You've made quite your opinion quite clear already."

"It's not that I don't want to, Kensi…I'm just not ready yet."

"It's been three months, Callen," she said bluntly. "Three months since I told you. If you aren't ready by now, when will you be?"

Callen opened his mouth to defend himself, but before he could get further than, "Kensi…", she threw him a warning glance.

"Sam's back."

Callen sighed and returned to waiting.

A few minutes later, Deeks showed up and took his place at his desk. Not long after, Mike Renko appeared.

After they had finished greeting each other (and after Deeks was introduced to Renko), the agents all made their way back up to Ops, where Renko started the briefing.

"Director Vance put me on the Gordon case a couple of weeks ago," Renko began. "He said the drug ring was getting out of hand and he wanted to move to bring it down. First, though, I had to figure out whether Gordon really is the guy in charge, and not just some scapegoat."

"So you used Campbell to get close to him," Sam surmised.

"Campbell agreed to it. It was supposed to be a low-risk op. He'd just talk to Gordon and try to find out whether or not he led a double life as a drug lord. Neither of us expected it to end the way it did."

"What happened?" Deeks asked.

"I don't know," Renko admitted. "I was running surveillance on Gordon, so the last time I saw Campbell was at his last meeting with Gordon. I can tell you Gordon didn't kill Campbell – but if he really is a drug lord, he could have ordered someone else to do it."

"So we still don't know whether Gordon is a criminal or not," Kensi concluded.

"Unfortunately, no," Renko said apologetically. "Campbell's murder is connected to the drug ring though – so hopefully, when we find his killer, we'll be able to determine whether Gordon is a bad guy or not – and by extension, that will get us one step closer to busting this drug gang."

"Sounds complicated," Deeks remarked.

"And long," Renko added.

"Perhaps there is a shortcut to solving both our cases," Hetty spoke up.

"What d'you have in mind?" Renko asked.

"Well, if we determined for a fact that Mr. Gordon _is_ a drug lord, we would be able to begin preparations to shut down his drug ring – and once we do that, we would have our pick of suspects for the Campbell murder."

"So the first order of business is to prove if Gordon is a criminal," Kensi inferred.

"Indeed, Miss Blye. I believe it is time for an in-depth undercover op."

"Deep cover?" Callen frowned.

"Not that deep, Mr. Callen. Simply a more…detailed cover." She looked straight at him. "I believe you and Miss Blye would be perfect for this."

At once the tension in the room increased and thickened into a palpable atmosphere. Callen and Kensi glanced at each other; Nate instantly locked onto their reactions, studying them intently; Eric and Nell exchanged looks; Sam and Deeks grew noticeably more anxious. Only Renko was unaffected, being the only one unaware of the current strain in Callen and Kensi's relationship.

"Hetty, are you sure that's a good idea?" Sam asked uneasily. "I mean, with everything that's –"

"We need the best for this op, Mr. Hanna, and Mr. Callen and Miss Blye are the best," Hetty cut him off. "I am sure they will perform admirably and professionally." She threw both of them a sharp glance as she said this; they nodded minutely.

"Great!" Renko seemed genuinely enthusiastic. He knew just how good Callen and Kensi were, and he felt that if anyone could uncover the truth, it was them. "Let's get started."

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: I don't have much experience writing Renko...scratch that, I don't have _**_any **experience writing Renko - but I think I did okay with his character. He shows up so little in the show that he really doesn't have any personal quirks or idiosyncrasies I had to write in. He's actually a pretty generic character.**_

_**There is no true episode reference here, but I suppose if you want to get picky, this chapter could be considered to have slight allusions to **Disorder **(Season 2 Episode 11; it was mentioned earlier) and **Harm's Way **(Season 2 Episode 18). I say slight because the allusions are virtually nonexistent; they don't tie in in any significant way with any episode.**_


	5. Four Days Earlier

_**A/N: Thanks to **Izzie, terken, ChlollieRockz, Rebel Magnus, **and **TwilightPony21 **for reviewing; **sheeponthemoon **for favoriting; and **Neville and Luna1812, JanApril, The-Seilent-One-96, Aria Medley, **and **hatback **for subscribing to story alerts.**_

_**Today's chapter explores more of Callen and Kensi's relationship and sets up the rest of the story - including the forboding prologue (grins evilly).**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 4: Four Days Earlier<em>

"You sure you're ready for this?" Sam asked as he and Callen drove to the rendezvous point.

"Sam, I've gone undercover hundreds of times before, and I've been paired with Kensi fairly often, too. It'll be fine."

"But you've never been at odds with Kensi during an op before," Sam pointed out as he steered the car into a turn.

"Sam…" Callen started.

"G." Sam's tone as he cut him off was serious. He turned in his seat to look at his friend. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

Callen was a little taken aback, but he replied lightly, "Like what?"

"I'm serious, G. This op could be dangerous. You saw what happened to Campbell."

"What do you want me to say, Sam? The job's dangerous. We all take risks. It's what we do."

"Just promise me you won't let this thing with Kensi make you careless," Sam said earnestly. "I don't want to lose either of you."

Callen nodded in understanding. "Kensi and I will be fine, Sam. We may not be on the best of terms right now, but we're not the best undercover operatives in OSP for nothing. I'm sure we can bury the hatchet long enough to get through the op."

"And what about after?" Sam wanted to know.

Callen sighed. "You know I can't promise anything about after."

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and her?"

Callen thought about that for a minute. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "That depends on whether we manage to work it out or not. I hope I will be able to tell you, one day."

Sam nodded. He knew this was the closest he was going to get concerning Callen and Kensi's issue – at least for now.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence. Sam kept his worries to himself, and Callen was preparing himself to get into his role.

Presently they drove up to a supermarket. Callen shared one last glance with his partner before climbing out of the car and closing the door. Then he disappeared into the building.

"Be safe, G," Sam muttered as he drove away.

The supermarket was wide and spacious. The floors were kept pristine by the particular janitors, the air-conditioning was cold, and the PA system occasionally made announcements. Callen breathed deeply, falling into his character, and set off.

He found Kensi by the dairy aisle, a cart filled with groceries next to her. She looked up the moment she heard him, and put on a bright smile.

"Hi, honey," she greeted cheerfully. "Did you have a nice time with your friend?"

"Ah, it was the usual," Callen said easily. "We had a few drinks, he bored me with tales of his life, and we reminisced about the past."

Kensi chuckled as she tossed a pack of cheese into the cart. "Well, I'm almost done here; why don't you go check out the frozen foods section and get some sausages for me?"

"Right," Callen agreed, knowing full well this was code for: _Gordon's in the frozen foods section; go run surveillance._

They parted, and Callen allowed himself a moment of satisfaction – even after all that had happened, they could still flawlessly play their characters together. Of course, this wasn't their usual type of op – only time would tell if they could continue to keep it up.

The plan outlined by Hetty and Renko was simple: pose as a newly-wed couple who had just moved to LA, 'accidentally' bump into Gordon, pretend to recognize him as a friend of a friend, get close to him, and find out whether he was running a drug trafficking ring or not.

Of course, for this to work, their covers had to go deeper than your average run-of-the-mill types. Both Callen and Kensi were sporting brand-new aliases – Mr. Jacob Carmel and his wife Mrs. Alison Carmel – the backstopping of which had been created by both Eric and Nell and ran back up to fifteen years. Hetty had even secured a small apartment for them in downtown LA that they had to stay in – together – for the duration of the op.

While Callen and Kensi played the happy newlyweds, Sam, Deeks, and Renko would run surveillance and keep looking for leads on Campbell's murder and the drug ring. Eric and Nell would keep an eye on them via the cameras hidden in their new apartment and other electronic devices.

None of them was expecting this operation to run more than a month, at the very most, but this sort of business was unpredictable – so while it wasn't exactly deep cover, it came close. Callen, however, had every confidence that he and Kensi could do this. They'd played a couple many times before, and were good at it – plus, they had personal experience none of their colleagues knew about.

So this particular op? No problem. Piece of cake.

He hoped.

* * *

><p><em>"Did you get the doughnuts?" Callen inquired as Kensi let herself into his house.<em>

_ "Yep." She showed him the box she was carefully balancing on her palms. "So what are we doing tonight?"_

_ Callen grinned at her. "How are you at Monopoly?"_

_ "You're kidding, right?" she said skeptically. "Monopoly? Really?"_

_ "What's the harm in shaking things up a little?" he asked. "We've never played a game before."_

_ "I'll tell you what's the harm," she said. "I suck at Monopoly."_

_ "Really?" he asked in surprise._

_ "Yes, really," she told him, moving into the living room. She stopped short at what she saw. "Callen…"_

_ "Yeah, uh – I kind of already set it up." He gestured sheepishly at the board game on the floor._

_ Kensi scowled at him. He just looked back at her with a question in his eyes._

_ "Oh, all right, fine," she relented, setting the box of doughnuts on the floor next to the game. "I'll play – but only to humor you. And I give you fair warning now; you won't find me much fun to beat."_

_ "We'll see," said Callen, sitting down. In truth, this was their first night together since the day he'd failed to complete his sentence during Project Runway; and he'd opted to go with a game because it would recreate the light-hearted atmosphere they thrived in. He figured it was the simplest way to thaw the slight frostiness between them lately and to ease them back into their happy camaraderie. _

_ He got out the tokens. "Choose one," he said to Kensi._

_ She picked the shoe and took a doughnut from the open box. He selected the moneybag._

_ "Planning to be a property tycoon?" she asked playfully with a pointed glance at his token._

_ "Positive visualization," he replied with a smirk._

_ The game began, and an hour later the board was half filled with houses and the box of doughnuts was almost empty. Both Callen and Kensi were laughing._

_ "_This _is what you call being a property tycoon?" Kensi asked, gesturing at Callen's measly stack of game money. "You're worse than me – and that's saying something. I can't believe I'm actually winning!"_

_ "At least _you've _had experience buying houses," Callen retorted. "I bounced between homes, remember?"_

_ "You bought this one," she pointed out._

_ "Technically, Hetty did," he corrected. "All I did was sign the deed and pay the money." He smiled wryly._

_ Kensi giggled; Callen moved his token._

_ "Ha!" she exclaimed jubilantly. "That's mine! You owe me six hundred."_

_ "That is just cruel," he remarked as he studied his stack of money. "I don't think I have enough."_

_ "Well, then you'll have to declare bankruptcy." Kensi smirked. "Looks like I win."_

_ "Is that so?" Callen reached over and pulled free a handful of her neatly arranged paper money._

_ "Callen!" she shrieked. "Give that back!"_

_ "Make me," he said, grinning mischievously._

_ She did. She dove at him in a tackling motion, upsetting the board and sending cards and houses everywhere._

_ By the time their tussle was over they were both breathing hard. Callen was lying on his back, and Kensi was over him._

_ "I think you've ruined the game," Callen said._

_ "Doesn't matter." Kensi leaned down to kiss him._

_ Neither of them spared another thought for Monopoly that night._

* * *

><p>Callen walked up the frozen food aisle, spotting his quarry with ease. He 'accidentally' bumped into Gordon, and then hastily apologized.<p>

"Hey, sorry, man," he said, oozing sincerity. "I wasn't looking where I was going. You okay?"

"Don't worry about it," Gordon told him. "No harm done." His manner was friendly and easy; as far as Callen could tell, he was just a regular nice guy. It was too early to say for certain, though. Time to lay the trap.

"Hey, you know what?" he said in a puzzled tone of voice with an equally puzzled expression. "You look like someone a friend of mine once told me about."

"Well, I don't know about that," Gordon said with a laugh. "Who's your friend?"

Callen didn't miss a beat. "James Campbell. He's a Marine."

"Yeah, I know James. Went to high school with him. Met up with him a couple of days ago, actually."

"You did?" Callen pretended to be surprised. "I didn't know he was in LA." They'd decided beforehand that 'Jacob Carmel' shouldn't know too much about Campbell.

"Well, I don't know if he still is – he said he had to redeploy in a few days."

"Life of a Marine," Callen agreed. This conversation was coming along fine. "Hey, I didn't catch your name."

"Alex Gordon," Gordon replied.

"Alex," Callen repeated. He extended his hand for a handshake. "I'm Jacob."

Just then Kensi, right on cue, came up to them, wheeling the cart.

"Oh, hey," Callen greeted easily, as if they hadn't prearranged this scene. "You done with the groceries?"

"Just about," Kensi responded. "Did you find the sausages?"

"Uh, not yet," Callen admitted. "I was talking to Alex over here." He gestured at Gordon. "Alex, this is my wife, Alison."

"Pleasure to meet you," Gordon greeted politely.

"Likewise," Kensi replied with a smile. "I hope my husband hasn't been talking your ear off – he has a tendency to do that sometimes." She smiled sweetly at Callen, who held his hands up.

"Just being friendly."

"Uh-huh. The sausages, Jake?"

He caught the point in her tone. "Going to get them now," he promised, backing away with a glance at Gordon that said, 'The wife rules all', leaving Kensi with their target.

"So how long have you two been married?" Gordon asked.

"Two months," answered Kensi. "We just moved to LA a couple of weeks ago." She looked at him. "What about you? You got a special someone in your life?"

Gordon chuckled. "Not likely. I'm a bachelor. Probably always will be."

"Oh? Why's that?"

Gordon shrugged. "I run my own business," he replied. "It's kind of a full time job. Hectic schedule."

"I see." Kensi nodded absent-mindedly, pretending to check through her groceries – although right now she was the farthest thing from 'absent-minded'. This 'business' of Gordon's could be the drug ring they were tracking.

"Got the sausages," Callen said as he returned with a package of said sausages. He tossed it into the cart. "Shall we get going?"

"Okay," Kensi agreed. "I'll go pay for these." She walked away, and Callen started to follow after her, before he turned back, as if in afterthought.

"You know, Alison and I are planning to grab something to eat on the way home. Care to join us?"

"Well, I don't know…" Gordon sounded hesitant.

"Come on," Callen coaxed. "Our treat. We can talk about James and see if we have anything else in common."

Gordon smiled. "Okay. Why not?"

Callen grinned. "Great. We'll meet you by the café on 31st and Ocean in, say, an hour?"

Gordon nodded. "See you there."

Callen looked satisfied as he left.

* * *

><p><em>The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted Callen and Kensi from the movie they'd been watching together. Both glanced at the door, then back at the other.<em>

_ "Are you expecting someone?" Kensi inquired._

_ "No," Callen answered, his tone puzzled. He lowered his voice. "Stay here." _

_He went to get the door while Kensi looked for a place to hide in case it was anyone they didn't want to find out about them. Easier said than done; though Callen had invested in a couch and a bed since Kensi had started staying over, his house was still quite bare – there was no furniture for her to hide behind._

Keep cool_, Kensi told herself. _It's probably nothing to worry about. Callen will send whoever it is away and then we can get back to the movie…

_What she heard next stripped her calm away from her, however._

_ "Oh, hey, Sam," Callen said from the hallway, in a too-cheerful voice. "What are you doing here?"_

Shit_, Kensi thought, as she raced into the next room to make herself scarce._

_ Out in the hallway, Callen stalled at the door, hoping Kensi could hide herself in time. He kept his face smooth and neutral as he talked to Sam._

_ "Thought I'd ask you if you want to go to the bar – have some drinks and play a game of pool," Sam invited._

_ "I'd like to, buddy, but I've got things to do."_

_ "Like what?" Sam asked._

_ "Paperwork," Callen lied immediately. Sam's eyes narrowed in suspicion._

_ "You never take paperwork home to do."_

_ "There's a first time for everything. And I really do have a ton of reports to write. Hetty's been on my ass for weeks about some mission logs I owe her." Callen put on an apologetic face. "Sorry, Sam. Some other time."_

_ "Okay," Sam agreed, accepting his excuse. He knew all too well how terrifying Hetty could be when she didn't get her paperwork. "See you tomorrow. Goodnight."_

_ "Goodnight, Sam," Callen said, before he closed the door. But he didn't give Kensi the all-clear yet. He waited until he heard the engine of Sam's car fade into the distance before returning to the living room. Kensi was there waiting for him. _

_"That was close," he commented._

_ "What'd you tell him?" Kensi asked curiously._

_ "That I had paperwork to do."_

_ "You never take paperwork home," she pointed out._

_ "I managed to convince him." He settled back down on the couch. "Where were we?"_

_ Kensi smiled and turned back to the laptop they'd been watching their movie on (since Callen didn't have a TV)._

* * *

><p>"Seriously? 'Allie'?" Kensi demanded as Callen unlocked the door to the Carmels' apartment. "Did you really have to call me that?"<p>

"Well, that depends," Callen replied with a smirk. "Did you have to call me 'Jake'?"

"I wanted to make it seem more natural," Kensi protested as she and Callen stepped into the apartment, groceries in hand. "Jake is a common nickname for Jacob."

"And Allie's a nickname for Alison," Callen countered, relocking the door behind them.

Kensi scoffed. "Yeah, okay. If you say so."

"What?" Callen said innocently. "It's true."

"Mm-hm." She played innocent too. "I'm gonna go put the food in the fridge – you can call Sam and update him."

Callen chuckled to himself as he pulled out his phone and dialed his partner's familiar number. "Sam."

_"G. You're on speaker."_

_ "How did it go, Mr. Callen?" _Hetty's voice inquired.

"Pretty good," Callen answered. "We took him to the café and talked for about half an hour. Got his number and email."

_"We any closer to finding out whether he is what we think he is?" _Renko questioned.

"Uh…getting there," replied Callen. "He mentioned that he runs his own business. Could be the drug ring."

_"You're not going to get any more information from him if you keep playing with kids' gloves," _Nate pointed out.

"I know. Don't worry – we sprinkled our conversation with numerous mentions of Campbell… and we've invited him over for dinner tomorrow night – we can start digging deeper then."

_"Okay," _said Sam. _"Deeks, Renko, and I will take turns to stake out your apartment – see if there's anything suspicious."_

"Got it." Callen hung up, just as Kensi came back into the room.

"Sam and the others updated?" she asked.

"Yep."

An awkward silence descended on the room. Neither of them knew what to say to the other. Eventually, Kensi broke the stillness first.

"You know, I've missed this."

"What?" Callen looked up at her. "Playing a couple?"

"No," Kensi said, flashing him a slightly annoyed look. "The banter. I've missed that."

"We can do it again," Callen said.

"Can we?" Her brown eyes stared into his blue ones.

Callen knew she was looking for an answer to a question that was different from the one she was asking, but he wasn't ready to give her the reply just yet. He sighed as he broke the eye contact.

"Come on, we'd better get lunch started."

Kensi glanced down at the floor, disguising the fleeting flash of disappointment that crossed her features.

"Yeah, we should."

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: For some reason, this chapter seems shorter to me...but my word processor says it's over 2,800 words. Oh, well._**

**_No episode reference today - the two flashbacks came straight out of the creative powers of my head._**


	6. Three Days Earlier

_**A/N: Thanks to **redmangan23, Rebel Magnus, terken, evershort, ChlollieRockz, **and **DizzyDrea** for reviewing! Thanks to **evershort **and **onlytennis **for adding this story to favorites, and thanks to **LoveSucks VampiresBite **for subscribing to story alerts, story favorites, author alerts, and author favorites. **_

_**Now, this chapter has a bit of a twist at the end...I say 'a bit' because it's not very twisty. Hope you enjoy it just the same.**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 5: Three Days Earlier<em>

Nell hummed to herself as she worked on her computer in Ops, quickly gathering appropriate intel for the various operations that were currently active in OSP. Nate, walking in and seeing her, allowed himself a small smile.

"You haven't changed," he noted, coming to sit by her.

Nell glanced up briefly and smiled when she saw him there. "Did you expect me to?"

"Well…" said Nate. "A lot can happen in five years."

"A lot did," she reminded him. "But not to me. You, on the other hand…" She looked at him with a hint of pride. "From the boy next door to psychiatrist to operational psychologist to NCIS field agent."

"And you from my sister's best friend to intelligence analyst for OSP," Nate added. "How's Renee these days?"

"She's doing okay," Nell replied. "Works as a nurse for Pacific Medical. Brother and sister, both doctors." She paused for a while before asking, "Haven't you told her you're in LA?"

Nate exhaled. "No. She doesn't know I work for NCIS, of course. She thinks I'm a psychologist in Utah."

"Hm," Nell mused. "She thinks I'm an IT worker. In LA, though – if I told her otherwise she'd want to know what I was doing in the city every time I happen to bump into her."

"How often does that happen?" Nate queried.

"So far, it hasn't," Nell admitted. She sighed. "It's funny how you and I ended up working for the same agency, isn't it? And how because we work for the same agency I'm closer to you now than to her."

Nate nodded. "Life has a way of surprising you." He shared a glance with her. "But you'll always be like a sister to me."

Nell smiled. "And you'll always be my big brother." She hesitated, then asked, "When do you have to go back to Yemen?"

"Whenever Hetty tells me to."

"And that would be…?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "Soon. But not till this op's over."

"And not till Callen and Kensi have sorted things out between them?" Nell said shrewdly.

"That too." Nate glanced at the screen that was broadcasting live from the Carmels' apartment. "What time does Gordon get there?"

"In a bit," replied Nell. "Eric went down to eat before the action starts up. Sam's running patrol, and Deeks and Renko should be here any moment."

Just then the doors slid open to admit those same two agents.

"Right on cue," said Nell.

"Hey," said Deeks. "What time does the show begin?"

"Soon," Nell replied.

A few minutes later, Eric returned and sat down in his chair. "You ready?" he asked Nell.

"Yep," she replied, enlarging the video footage just as Gordon rang the doorbell of the apartment.

"All right," said Renko. "It's go time. Let's find out what this guy's hiding."

* * *

><p>"Dinner is excellent, Alison," Gordon complimented as he swallowed a mouthful of chicken and mashed potatoes.<p>

"Thank you," Kensi said, "But I can't take all the credit. Jacob helped. Surprisingly, he actually can cook." This last was said with a twinkle in her eye that was directed at Callen, who was sitting next to her.

They whiled away the next several minutes with casual dinner conversation, waiting for their cue to begin phase two of the plan.

* * *

><p>"Sam, time to make the call," Eric alerted him.<p>

_"Got it."_

A few seconds later, the OSP operatives in Ops watched as Callen excused himself from the table to answer a phone call.

* * *

><p>Callen walked over to the cabinet to answer his ringing phone. "Hello?"<p>

_"G, you're on."_

Callen faked a surprised, and somewhat worried, look, making sure to lock eyes with Kensi for a few moments before saying into the phone, "Yeah, hang on a minute." He covered the speaker with his hand. "I'm sorry, I have to take this call." Then he retreated into the next room.

Kensi, meanwhile, playing her part perfectly, made a show of looking anxious, before excusing herself to follow after Callen, leaving Gordon at the table. She entered the room to hear Callen speaking rapidly into the phone with just the right hints of worry and anxiety to sell the act.

"What do you mean you can't find…I see. Well, did you even try…no, of course I haven't…that was uncalled for."

_"Keep talking, G," _Sam told him from the other end. _"Nate says Gordon's on the point of coming after you."_

"You'll let me know if you get it?" Callen asked.

_"Yeah," _Sam replied, understanding his real meaning effortlessly.

"Okay, then how about…" Callen paused again and pretended to be listening. "No, no that won't work."

_"Okay,_" said Sam, _"Gordon's right outside the room; he can hear everything you're saying. Time to wrap this up."_

"Yeah…no, I got it. Sure. Guess I'll have to get it. All right. Bye." He ended the call and looked at Kensi, communicating with his eyes. She nodded.

"Emma again?" she asked quietly – but still making sure her voice would carry to Gordon, just outside.

"Yeah." Callen sighed. "She needs more drugs."

"Jake, maybe this isn't the best idea…" Kensi began.

"You haven't seen her withdrawal, Alison," Callen said, beginning to pace. "It's really bad. The only way to do this is to wean her off the drugs gradually, and since the doctors won't approve that idea and prescribe them for her…"

"Yeah, but maybe we shouldn't be purchasing the drugs illegally for her," Kensi argued. "I don't want us to get in trouble. I'm sure if we explained it carefully to a doctor…"

"We've done that!" Callen said, raising his voice and imbuing it with believable anger. "They won't listen!"

"Jacob…"

Callen sighed. "I know you don't like this, Allie. Neither do I. But Emma's withdrawal is a real bitch. She suffers so much if she doesn't have the drugs…"

"I know it hurts you to see her that way, but Jake – if we keep this up, the cops are gonna find out. That won't do us or Emma any good."

Callen seemed to think about it. "Okay," he said. "You're right. One more package."

"Jake…" Kensi started.

"Just one," he promised. "One more package of the drugs, and then we stop buying them for Emma. She should be weaned off by then, anyway."

Kensi sighed. "Okay, but where are we going to –" She broke off midsentence as she 'suddenly' caught sight of Gordon listening outside. "Jacob…"

Callen looked to where she was pointing and his eyes widened. He cornered Gordon and demanded, "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," Gordon replied, unfazed by Callen's proximity.

"Please don't tell anyone," Kensi pleaded. "We're not bad people, really – we just want to help Emma."

Gordon held his hands up. "I'm not judging you," he assured them. "I know what it's like to have to make hard decisions because of someone you care about. However," he added, "if you're really serious about getting the drugs to help this Emma, I know where you can get them."

"You do?" Callen asked.

"Who are you?" Kensi demanded.

"I'm someone who can give you what you need," Gordon said. "Remember I said I ran my own business? This is my product."

"You're a drug dealer?" Callen questioned.

Gordon looked pained. "I prefer to think of myself as an unregistered pharmacist," he disagreed. "Now, do you want my help or not?"

Callen and Kensi exchanged glances, pretending to think about it, before Callen answered, "We're in."

* * *

><p>"Yes, we are," Renko said gleefully when he heard Callen's response. "Ha! We'll be busting this drug ring before the week is out."<p>

Eric and Nell high-fived each other. Callen and Kensi had just accomplished their objective – proved that Gordon was a drug lord, and gotten into a deal with him in order to uncover more facets of the drug ring. They'd done it again.

* * *

><p><em>He was doing it again. He was keeping things to himself, excluding her, not telling her anything about what he was doing. She'd tried to be understanding, tried to put up with it – Callen was Callen, after all, and he was a secretive person by nature – but this was going too far – especially after all that had happened in Prague.<em>

_ She had half a mind not to let him in when he knocked on her door that night, but she wanted to have a very serious conversation with him, face-to-face._

_ "Callen," she greeted, opening the door._

_ "Hey, Kenz," he returned with a smile – a smile that faded once he saw how frosty she was. "Aw, come on – you're not still upset about today, are you?"_

_ "Callen," she said in a quiet, deadly voice, "I hate to say this, but you did it again."_

_ "Did what?" He seemed genuinely puzzled._

_ "Kept a secret that affects the team!" she exclaimed, raising her voice. He took a step back at the anger in her voice._

_ "Kensi…"_

_ "No, don't 'Kensi' me," she interrupted. "Callen, we've been over this over and over again – and you still don't get it. Everyone has a right to their secrets, I know – and I'm not begrudging you that – but your secrets have a habit of taking you away from the team when we need you. And we need you more now that Hetty's on medical leave."_

_ "Kensi –"_

_ "Sam and Deeks and I were on our own because you took off looking for your past again!" she almost shouted at him._

_ "You're saying I _shouldn't _search for my past?" he asked, getting angry. "For who I am?"_

_ "I'm not saying that, Callen…"_

_ "Then what?" he demanded._

_ "I'm saying you shouldn't put your past ahead of the present – the future – you have," she told him. "Damn it, Callen – I know you want to find out who you are and where you come from, but can't you see it's not worth losing your future over?"_

_ "My past determines my future, Kensi!"_

_ "No, it doesn't," she disagreed. "Your past is just that – your past. What's important is what's happening here, with people you know now."_

_ "You don't understand, Kensi," he said. "I know nothing – _nothing_ – of my family or where I come from…you don't know what that's like, growing up with no one…"_

_ "Funny," she said acidly, "I seem to remember spending the majority of my teenage years without my father."_

_ "That's different!" he argued. "You lost your father at fifteen – I lost mine before I ever knew him. Same thing with my mother. But you…"_

_ "Don't go there, Callen." Something in her tone had changed; it was suddenly low, and brimming with warning and defensiveness. The sudden quiet was deafening._

_ It was enough to make Callen rethink his words. "Kenz?" he asked uncertainly._

_ She walked away from him, her back rigid, her shoulders stiff. Callen began to feel like he was missing something._

_ "Kensi…"_

_ "I never told you what happened to my mother, did I?" she said quietly, still not looking at him. "Everybody just assumed I had one, that the only tragedy in my life was my father."_

_ A sense of foreboding made itself known inside Callen's gut. "What are you saying, Kensi?"_

_ She finally turned back to him, her brown eyes distant and guarded. It reminded him of the time just before she'd opened up to tell him about Jack, that night when their relationship had taken such a personal turn._

_ "My mother," she said, "left me and my father three weeks after I was born. I never knew her; I grew up without a mother, just like you."_

_ Callen's breath left him like a ton of bricks had just smashed into his gut. He saw now that he'd made a horrible mistake in thinking that Kensi wouldn't understand – he'd always assumed she'd had a mother, even after her father died…never once did it cross his mind that she might be in his same situation in that way. And he'd accused her of not knowing, because she'd always had her mother…_

_ "Yeah, that's right," she said, noting the way his eyes changed as he realized what she was saying. "I never had a mother, Callen. And the worst thing was, she made the decision to leave me. She _chose _to leave me and my father. Your mother never did that. She didn't leave willingly. Mine did." Her tone was neutral, detached; but Callen knew that on the inside she was hurting – and it was his fault for bringing it up._

_ "Kenz, I'm sorry," he apologized, coming to stand beside her. "I never knew." He cautiously laid a hand on her shoulder; she shook it off._

_ "I don't even know why I'm getting so upset," she mused, almost to herself. "It's not like it's a new thing for me…getting left behind by people I care about."_

_ "Kensi, no – hey, look here." He turned her face towards him. "I warned you that I'd be taking off sometimes, remember? But I promised I'd always come back. And yes, I left today, but I came back – and I'll come back the next time, and the next, and the next. You hear me, Kenz? I'll always come back."_

_ "But that's just the thing," she told him. "I don't want you to come back. I want you to be there for me, when I need you – or even when I don't. I want you to be here, Callen, with me."_

_ Callen didn't like where this was going. "So you're saying…?"_

_ Kensi sighed, bracing herself to say what had been on her mind. "I'm saying, Callen, that I want…I want more."_

_ "What we have isn't good enough?" he questioned._

_ "It's a good thing that we have, Callen," she said earnestly, "but it can be better. And that's what I want. I want…I want a real relationship, and not this half-and-half arrangement we have." She looked at him with pleading eyes._

_ Callen shuffled his feet, uncomfortable. Why did it have to come to this? He'd been happy with what they had – why couldn't she be, too?_

_ "Callen?" Kensi queried softly._

_ ""I can't Kenz," he said finally. "I know you want more, and I know you deserve more – but I just can't give it to you. I'm sorry."_

_ She nodded, refusing to let the tears that prickled at the corners of her eyes spill over. _

_ "Kenz, I'm sorry," he said again. _

_ "No, it's okay, Callen," she said. "I really shouldn't have expected more. I mean, I know you. You're the lone wolf."_

_ "Kensi…" he began._

_ "I think you'd better go," she told him, backing away._

_ Callen tried again, though. "Kenz…"_

_ "Callen, please." She glanced up at him, and he saw her brimming tears. "Please just go."_

_ He nodded. "Okay, Kensi. Goodnight." He left, closing the door behind him._

_ And once he was gone, Kensi sank to the floor, curled herself up, and allowed herself to cry._

* * *

><p>After explaining to Gordon that Jacob Carmel had a niece who was addicted to cocaine whom they were trying to wean off slowly, and after working out several business deals until settling on one they liked, Callen and Kensi bade goodnight to Gordon and saw him out. Then they started on washing the dishes, spending several minutes in silence before Kensi spoke.<p>

"Callen, what happened between us?"

Callen paused midway wiping down a plate to consider her question. Before he answered, he asked her a query of his own with his eyes; she replied in the negative. _No, there aren't any cameras in the kitchen._

"I'm not entirely sure," he confessed. "But I think…disregarding all the other issues we had…our main problem was that you deserved more than I could give you."

Kensi considered his honest answer; one fact struck her. "You're talking as if the relationship is already over."

Callen raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it?"

"No, I don't think so." She placed the last dish on the rack and stepped closer to him. "I think we still have a chance. I still want to give it another try, if you're willing…if you can try to give me what I want."

Callen stared at her. "Kenz…"

She took it as a good sign that he was using his nickname for her for the first time in weeks.

"First time we decided to try, you convinced me," she continued. "Now I'm the one doing the convincing."

"Kensi, it didn't turn out well, remember?" he reminded her. "It didn't work."

"But maybe it's different now," she pointed out.

"What if it's not?" he countered. "What if it turns out exactly the same way as last time?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "But we'll never know if we don't try."

"Kensi, I can't promise you anything," he said, almost desperately. "I really don't know if…if I can give you what you're asking."

She simply sidled even closer. "As long as you try – _really_ try – that's good enough for me."

* * *

><p>Back in OSP, Nate watched in stunned amazement as Callen and Kensi came back into view of the living room camera. Something had changed in their dynamic – something that tipped Nate off and alerted him to what was really going on.<p>

"Oh, my God…" he breathed in shock. "They're a couple."

"What?" Deeks asked.

"Callen and Kensi," explained Nate. "They're together."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: All right, I'll admit it - my whole purpose of bringing Nate back was so he could observe Callen and Kensi and identify what has changed in their relationship. Being a psychologist, he's trained to notice these sort of things. And by the way, I have good news: I've finished writing the story, so I can now tell you that there will be twelve proper chapters, in addition to the prologue. So that leaves seven more chapters plus the epilogue.  
><strong>_

_**Episode references of the flashback allude to **Lockup **(Season 2 Episode 14),** Imposters **(Season 2 Episode 23), **Familia **(Season 2 Episode 24), **Lange, H. **(Season 3 Episode 1), and **Cyber Threat **(Season 3 Episode 2).**_


	7. Two Days Earlier

_**A/N: Today sees our favorite NCIS team reacting to the news that Callen and Kensi are in a relationship. I loved writing this (wink).**_

_**Thanks to **DizzyDrea, SP SVU B, terken, Rebel Magnus, evershort, **and **ChlollieRockz **for reviewing!**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 6: Two Days Earlier<em>

Deeks sat at his desk, still pondering over the astonishing announcement Nate had made last night. His first reaction was that the psychologist was off his rocker – completely, thoroughly, _way _off – but in hindsight, it made some kind of sense. After all, this would explain how close they'd been, and why they'd been so cool to each other for the past few months…

He still couldn't believe it, though.

"Hey, Sam," he called. "Do you believe Nate about Callen and Kensi?"

The burly agent looked up. After the initial shock, he'd gone quiet, trying to sort through the muddle Nate's conclusion had made of his thoughts.

"He could be," he admitted.

"How did we miss it?" Deeks wondered.

Sam shrugged. "Callen and Kensi are good at what they do. I'm not surprised they managed to hide it." Then he frowned. "I am surprised they actually embarked on a relationship in the first place, though."

"I know, right?" Deeks agreed. "I mean, they're like the two most emotionally screwed up people I know…" He paused. "Hey, do you think Hetty knew about it?"

Both agents turned their heads in the direction of Hetty's office; there was no one there.

"It's unlikely, right?" Deeks asked, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Maybe," Sam conceded. "But this is Hetty we're talking about."

Again, both men furtively twisted to check if Hetty was at her desk.

"Right," Deeks agreed. "So you're saying she knew?"

"I most certainly did, Mr. Deeks."

Hetty's voice caused both men to startle. Deeks evicted an exclamation when he saw that she was standing directly behind him and pushed his chair backwards.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed. When he had recovered his breath, he asked, "How do you _do _that?"

Hetty gave him a knowing smile. "Practice," she told him.

Sam, however, was more interested in what Hetty knew about Callen and Kensi's relationship.

"Hetty, you knew about Callen and Kensi?"

"I did," Hetty confirmed.

"How long have they been…?"

"Oh, let's see…" Hetty thought for a few seconds. "Four and a half months, that I'm aware of – but I'm quite certain they started before that. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say they've been more than friends for well over six months now."

"Six months…?" Sam repeated in disbelief. He hadn't expected that even Callen and Kensi had managed to keep their secret for so long.

"Do you know what happened between them?" Deeks questioned keenly.

"I have my own conclusions, but it is not my place to say whether they are correct or not."

"But, Hetty –" Sam began.

"But nothing," she said firmly. "This is a matter between Mr. Callen and Miss Blye, and it is for them and them alone to sort out. It is none of our business what happened between them or where they are going from here." She paused. "Now, gentlemen, I believe you have a case to work."

When Sam and Deeks only stared at her, she stared right back at them.

"Go!" she shooed.

Then, of course, they scrambled.

* * *

><p>Nell sidled up to Eric with a smug smile on her face. He glanced sideways at her.<p>

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she queried. "Like – I don't know – a little bet?"

Eric pursed his lips. "We still don't know for sure if it's true," he hedged.

"You're gonna go against Nate now?"

"Nate can sometimes be wrong," Eric pointed out.

"Okay, forget Nate," Nell agreed. "You're gonna go against Hetty?"

Eric froze and turned to look at her.

"I overheard her talking to Sam and Deeks downstairs," Nell said. "She's just confirmed that Callen and Kensi have been seeing each other." She grinned brightly.

Eric sighed. He knew when he was beaten. Digging out his wallet, he withdrew thirty dollars and handed it to her.

"Thank you," she said politely as she took the money.

Eric just grunted.

* * *

><p>Callen lay on his side, propped up on his elbow, with the sheets pulled up to his waist. As usual, he'd woken up earlier than could be considered normal – but instead of getting out of bed to do something, as he usually did, he chose to stay where he was and watch Kensi sleep.<p>

The female agent looked so peaceful when she slept; when she was asleep, she was free of all the worries and pressures of life.

Callen was still coming to terms with what he felt for Kensi. He was prepared to admit to himself that he wanted to do this; he wanted to be with her – but he didn't know if he wanted the same thing she wanted for their relationship. He was too much of a lone wolf, too used to fending for just himself, that to include another person in his life to the level that Kensi wanted to be included was…difficult – if indeed it could be done at all.

And he was…scared. He would never admit it to anyone – least of all Kensi – but he was truly terrified that he would lose her. If they took their relationship to the next step, and it didn't work out – it would be almost as bad as if one of them were to be killed on the job. He honestly didn't know if, in taking this step, he could deal with the emotional consequences.

He'd already had a taste of what it felt like to be at odds with Kensi.

* * *

><p><em>Callen returned to his house and made a valiant attempt to sleep, to lose himself in rejuvenating unconsciousness…but that was asking for the impossible, especially after what happened. After an hour and a half of tossing about in bed, he decided to go to OSP and sleep on the couch. That trusty piece of work furniture had never failed him before.<em>

_ When he arrived at the building, he was somewhat surprised to find Hetty there - the little woman was not off medical leave yet._

_"What are you doing here, Hetty?"  
><em>

_ "I had a feeling you might be coming here tonight," Hetty said. Her voice was sympathetic, understanding; her eyes reflected her tone._

_ Callen gaped. Was there anything the woman _didn't _know? "How did you know?"_

_ "Mr. Callen, __I know my agents__," she told him. "So when __Agent Hunter mentioned to me that you had taken off for some personal time, and that Miss Blye was acting strangely, I knew something was up."  
><em>

_ "Hetty…" he began, ready to defend himself. She stopped him with a wave of her hand._

_ "I know you wanted to be there, Callen – and I also know how important it is to you that you continue searching for your past. All I'm saying is I imagined that Kensi intended to talk to you about your activities – and knowing both of you as I do, I guessed that it would go further than that. I also knew that after that, you would come here." She smiled ruefully. "Despite how long you've stayed in that house, it is still not a home to you, is it, Mr. Callen?"_

_ He shook his head mutely. Hetty sighed. _

_ "Oh, well," she said, "I suppose it would have been foolish to expect you to stay away from the couch for more than three months. It's all yours, Mr. Callen."_

_ Callen thanked her and turned to go inside, but she called him back._

_ "Oh, Mr. Callen?"_

_ "Yeah, Hetty?" he asked, backtracking._

_ "Just remember what I told you about leadership."_

_ "You've told me a lot of things about leadership," Callen said, puzzled._

_ "Ah, yes – well, I'm referring to something rather specific this time…do you recall our final conversation before Prague?"_

_ How could he forget?_

_ "You said the true test of a commander comes when he's frightened and confused," he remembered._

_ "Very good, Mr. Callen," she praised. "What else?"_

_ "When I can't find what I need in myself, I'll find it in my team," he quoted._

_ "Yes, Mr. Callen. I meant that in more than one way."_

_ "Hetty, I'm not really following you…"_

_ "That advice does not apply only to work-related matters," Hetty told him. "It can also be interpreted to fit problems in other areas of life."_

_ Callen fell silent as her meaning sank in. Hetty nodded to herself as she saw his understanding._

_ "Think about that, Callen. Goodnight." She turned to go._

_"Hetty."_

_She half-turned, raising an eyebrow in question._

_"When are you coming back?"_

_She sighed. "Soon, Mr. Callen."_

_"How soon is soon?" he pressed._

_She smiled knowingly. "Goodnight, Mr. Callen," she said, with finality.  
><em>

_ Callen sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get anything more out of her. "Goodnight, Hetty."_

* * *

><p>Callen had thought about that a lot since the day of their argument. Kensi had told him she wanted more – and he, being damaged goods, with all his insecurities and uncertainties, had pulled back.<p>

He'd been frightened and confused.

He was _still _frightened and confused, though most of the time he could hide it even from himself. But three months on, he was wondering if maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to commit himself to this relationship. He cared for Kensi a lot, and he knew she felt the same way.

If he was really, brutally honest with himself, he might – _might _– even admit that he loved her. But he'd never said it – neither of them had. In the six, seven months of their relationship, both of them had intentionally shied away from the L word. Saying that would take their relationship deeper, whether they wanted it to or not – it would cement their feelings, make things complicated. That's why even considering whether he loved her was such a frightening prospect.

That one simple word had the potential to utterly transform their entire relationship.

So, he obviously couldn't find what he wanted in himself. Now the question was, whom could he find it in? Because he really did want to make this work – but he wasn't sure he should.

Kensi stirred, saving Callen from the confusing muddle his befuddled thoughts were wrapping him in. She cracked open and eyelid, groaned slightly, then snuggled closer to him.

"What time is it?" she mumbled.

"Nine," he replied.

"And how long have you been up?"

His lips quirked up in a smile. "A while."

She wasn't having that. Propping herself up on her elbow in a stance similar to his, she rearranged her sleepy features into something more awake in order to glare at him.

"How long, Callen?"

"Three hours," he admitted.

She considered that. "Hm," she said. "That's later than your usual."

"Yes, it is," he agreed. "Must be something about you that calms me enough to make me sleep an extra hour or so," he said, only half-joking.

Her smile was half-hearted and short-lived; they both knew they were still in that determining period, the tipping point. Neither could say how long they would balance precariously on the edge; but they both knew it wouldn't be for much longer. With a sigh, Kensi pulled a sheet towards her, draping it over her body, before sliding out of bed.

"We'd better get dressed. We have work to do."

Callen nodded in agreement and followed suit.

* * *

><p><em>Kensi listened with restlessness as Deeks described his latest date with his most recent conquest – a young woman named Danielle MacQuinn. Her surfer partner was enthusiastically retelling how his wonderful night went.<em>

_ Unfortunately, Deeks' animated narration was bringing up memories of her own wonderful date nights – with the man next to her._

_ Kensi glanced sideways at Callen, who was writing out a report on his desk. He felt her scrutiny and looked up to meet her gaze; she quickly jerked her eyes away._

_ Two weeks since they had all but ended their relationship, they had fallen into a careful, non-personal association that was a faint, unsatisfying shadow of the friendship they used to share. Callen had even stopped calling her Kenz, which was something she missed._

_ Fortunately, though, none of their colleagues had as yet picked up on the change in their relationship. Had Nate been here, Kensi was sure he would have noticed – but he wasn't, and so far, their problems still remained unknown._

_Lately, though, Kensi had been reflecting on their argument enough for all of them._

_The reason behind her request that night for a deeper relationship with Callen stemmed from her desire to be more than just an agent – spurred on by Hetty's little heart-to-heart chat with her just before the other woman had left for Prague._

_And as always, Hetty was absolutely right. Kensi didn't want to come home to nothing but a collection of weapons. She wanted someone whom she knew would be there for her – and she wanted Callen to be that person. But he still insisted on doing the lone wolf thing. He himself had said he couldn't be who she wanted him to be. So why was she still hoping he might give her a second answer – a different answer?_

_Kensi sighed. She could hope and wish all she could – but the chances of that happening were close to zero. _

_Eric's sharp whistle interrupted her brooding, and she, Callen, Sam, and Deeks all moved upstairs. Out of the corner of her eye, Kensi noticed Hunter's disapproving frown, and she guessed that it wouldn't be long before the acting Operations Manager banned Eric from whistling in OSP._

_"What've we got, Eric?" Callen asked as he entered Ops._

_"Missing Navy couple," Eric replied. "Harold and Amelia Warner are both Marines who are on leave while they await redeployment back on the ship they work on – the _U.S.S. Ohio_. Two days ago they just disappeared without a trace – no clues whatsoever."_

_"This is similar to a string of other cases of missing couples all around the country over the past five months," Nell added. "So far, eight couples have gone missing…and the first three were found dead several weeks later."_

_"Hunter told me to tell you that she wants you and Kensi to go undercover as one of the couples," Eric said to Callen. "She's waiting in her office to brief you and give you your new aliases."_

_Callen and Kensi exchanged a glance full of uncertainty. Both were unsure if they could pull this off._

_"Okay," Callen replied to Eric. He turned to Kensi. "Let's go, Kensi."_

_That op was difficult for them to perform. It took them three weeks in total to crack down on the kidnappers and rescue the other couples, and they slipped up more than once because of the underlying emotional issues between them – a fact not missed by Hunter or their teammates. Luckily for them, however, everyone assumed that it was because this was the first case of the type for them._

_Eventually, they'd pulled their act together and resolved to keep their guard up, never letting anyone see what truly lay beneath. From then, any role that required them to play a couple was executed excellently, almost up to their usual standard. _

_But unbeknownst to anyone, every time they had to play what they no longer were, it drove the stake of hurt even deeper in each of them._

* * *

><p>For the purpose of the operation, Callen's and Kensi's covers had been very thoroughly constructed. As such, both of them, as Jacob and Alison Carmel, had civilian jobs as part of their cover. It had all been arranged for them by Eric and Nell. The two OSP technicians had purposely sought low-profile employment for Jacob and Alison, because the op wasn't intended to be long-term. Jacob Carmel worked for a low-key insurance company as a mail clerk; Alison was a part-time interior decorator. Both Callen and Kensi resigned themselves to working as civilians until their mission was accomplished. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too long from now – all they were waiting on was for Gordon to contact them with details of the meet with his suppliers, and they could move in to bring the drug ring down.<p>

Still, it didn't make the day any less boring. By the time evening had fallen and Jacob's shift at the company was finally over, Callen was dying for a little stimulating activity.

"Hi, honey," Kensi greeted him at the door. "How was your day?"

"Fine," Callen answered automatically. His eyes, however, conveyed a different message: _dreary_.

Kensi chuckled. "Well, dinner's on the table, so that should cheer you up a bit."

Callen nodded and hung up his coat just as his phone rang. He dug it out, noticed the number, and glanced significantly at Kensi.

"It's Gordon," he said quietly.

Kensi immediately got out her phone and speed-dialed Eric. "Eric, Gordon's calling Callen right now. See if you can trace the call." They had opted not to put a tail on Gordon for fear that he might notice and connect it to his new friends the Carmels.

_"On it," _Eric agreed. Kensi nodded at Callen, and he tapped the receive button.

"Hello?"

_"Jacob," _Gordon greeted. _"I've been making the necessary arrangements, and it just so happens we have what you need on hand. I don't have to send for supplies after all."_

"Really?" Callen faked interest, locking eyes with Kensi. "So, that means…?"

_"That means, Jacob,"_ Gordon said, _"that we can do business the day after tomorrow."_

"Where?" Callen queried. "What time?"

_"Three o' clock at the cosmetics store just around the corner from your apartment."_

"Okay," Callen agreed. "We'll be there."

_"I'll see you." _Gordon hung up.

Callen threw a questioning look at Kensi as he pocketed his phone; she checked with Eric and shook her head.

"Too short," she said.

He nodded. "Guess we'll have to wait till the meet."

"Guess so," Kensi agreed.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Next chapter turns up the heat with the case. We're getting reeeaally close to the prologue now..._**

**_The allusions in the flashbacks refer to _**_Imposters **(Season 2 Episode 23) and **Cyber Threat **(Season 3 Episode 2).**_


	8. One Day Earlier

_**A/N: First off, a big thank you to **DizzyDrea, SP SVU B, Rebel Magnus, terken, evershort, TwilightPony21, **and **ChlollieRockz **for reviewing! Thanks also to **casper84 **for subscribing to story alerts.**_

_**I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all you guys for reading, reviewing, favoriting, alerting, etc. It really means a lot to me to know that you guys are enjoying this story so much.**_

_**On that note, let us begin Chapter 7!  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 7: One Day Earlier<em>

"So…" began Renko. "Callen and Kensi, huh? How long has that been going on?"

Deeks grunted from his position behind the steering wheel of the car. "Hetty reckons it's been about six months."

"Six months, huh?" Renko merely sounded mildly curious, as opposed to violently surprised like Sam and Deeks had been. Then his tone turned disbelieving as he added, "And _none _of you noticed?"

"You know how Callen and Kensi are," Deeks defended. "I doubt you'd have noticed either."

"Oh, yes, I would," Renko disagreed. "It might've taken me a while – maybe even a few months – but I'd have figured it out eventually."

Deeks scoffed. "Yeah, right," he said skeptically.

"Did you know, I used to have a bit of a crush on Kensi," Renko said, changing the subject. Deeks' ears perked up, and he turned to look at the agent.

"Really?" he asked interestedly.

"It was a long time ago," Renko said. "She was out of my league, anyway."

"You and me both," Deeks agreed.

He pulled up outside the house of one Jonathan Cross. Eric had uncovered a paper trail that led right back to Cross – he'd been wired $20,000 the day of Campbell's murder – but due to a lack of connections to Gordon, Cross was not so much a suspect as a 'person of interest'.

"How do you want to play this?" Renko asked as he and Deeks approached the front door.

"Why does there always have to be a play?" Deeks wondered. "How about we just knock on the door and announce who we are?"

"He's gonna run," Renko pointed out.

"I know." Deeks grinned. "We'll just chase him down – and then we'll have probable cause to bring him in, won't we?"

Renko grinned back. "I like the way you think. I'll go round to the back to intercept him."

Deeks nodded and waited a few moments to allow Renko time to reach the back door. Then he knocked firmly on the door. "Jonathan Cross! LAPD!"

Just as he expected, there was a small scuffle and the pattering of running feet from the inside that signaled Cross' attempt to escape. However, seconds later, a startled yelp, followed by a pained grunt, echoed from the back of the house.

"You got him?" Deeks called.

"Yeah, I got him," Renko answered, pushing a cuffed Cross in front of him as he came back around. "Let's take him to the boathouse."

* * *

><p>"All right, Cross, it's time to come clean," said Renko as he sat down in the interrogation room. "We know you were involved in Campbell's murder somehow – if you 'fess up now, your sentence might not be so bad."<p>

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cross said sourly, slouching in his chair. "I'm not saying anything until I get a lawyer."

"Look, man, we don't really blame you," Deeks put in. "Twenty thousand dollars – that's a lot of money. Of course, it's still no reason to kill someone – but we know it wasn't your idea to kill Campbell."

"I have no idea who this Campbell person is," Cross insisted.

"Really?" Renko said skeptically. "Let me jog your memory. Petty Officer, first name James, dumped on the beach? No?"

"How about this?" asked Deeks, slapping a photo of Gordon in front of Cross. "Does that ring a bell?"

"Who the hell is he?" Cross demanded.

"That's a no, then." Deeks sighed. "Excuse me a moment," he said to Renko before exiting.

"Where's he going?" Cross asked, a tad nervously.

"Oh, him?" Renko was supremely unconcerned. "He's going to talk to our local lie detector." When Cross' eyes widened, he added, "Oh, yeah. We've got one of those. If he says you're lying, you're really in for it." He glanced pointedly at him. "You want to change your mind about that lawyer?"

* * *

><p>"Well?" Deeks inquired of Nate, who was watching the interrogation with Sam.<p>

"He's edgy," Nate analyzed. "His eyes keep shifting from side to side; his answers are too quick, forced. And he's demanding to lawyer up."

"So he's guilty?" Sam surmised.

"Probably," Nate conceded. "But he was telling the truth about Gordon. He doesn't know him."

"How does that figure?" Deeks asked. "We've proved Gordon's a bad guy – it makes sense that he'd order a hit on Campbell once he felt he was getting too close."

"And Eric checked Cross' phone and email records," Sam added. "There was nothing from Gordon. If he didn't approach Cross in person, how could he have ordered the hit?"

"Maybe he didn't," Nate suggested. "Maybe it was someone else."

"Someone besides Gordon had a reason to want Campbell dead?" Deeks frowned.

"Maybe it was someone in the drug ring," said Sam.

"It is possible that Gordon ordered someone to hire an assassin to kill Campbell," Nate allowed, "but that's a very roundabout way of doing it. From my preliminary profile of Gordon, I'd say he's a control freak. Likes things done his way."

"So it doesn't make sense that he'd have someone else arrange Campbell's murder," Deeks concluded. "I mean, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself." When Sam narrowed his eyes in warning, Deeks hastily backpedaled. "I mean, in bad guy circles…obviously, criminals don't…have the trust that we share in…federal agencies…you know, among good guys…" He cleared his throat and shut up. "Never mind."

"Wise call," Sam told him.

Just then Renko came back in from interrogation. "Cross admitted to killing Campbell – but he swears he's never met Gordon before."

"I believe him," said Nate.

"Yeah, so do I," agreed Renko. "I was tailing Gordon for quite a while before Campbell was killed, and he went nowhere near Cross to arrange the hit."

"Well, then it must have been somebody else who hired Cross," Sam concluded.

"We've gotta hunt down that person," Renko added.

"I'm really starting to hate this case," grumbled Deeks. "We keep finding new leads that either don't go anywhere or open up a whole new branch of the investigation. Everything's all jumbled up, and I'm getting confused."

"You and me both, Deeks," Renko agreed.

* * *

><p><em>"I've made some operational changes," Hunter said. "Callen will be working with Kensi; Sam with Deeks."<em>

_ The agents stared at each other; Callen and Kensi exchanged meaningful glances._

_ "Partner up. I'm sure you'll all make this work," she added pointedly as she exited Ops._

_ "Is she kidding?" Deeks asked as Callen followed after Hunter._

_ "Nope," said Kensi, crossing her arms. _

_ She was aware of what this meant for Callen and her – and she couldn't say she was looking forward to it. She knew Callen had gone to confront Hunter about the sudden change – and probably to try to persuade her to change it back too – but Kensi also knew Hunter would stick to her decision like glue._

_ God, this was going to be awkward._

* * *

><p><em>"So what's your favorite food?" Kensi asked uncomfortably as they walked up the stairs of the apartment complex. It occurred to her that despite all that they had shared, she still didn't really know Callen as much as she would like.<em>

_ "Kensi, we've known each other for a long time," Callen responded. At the same time, his tone subtly pointed out that they were much more than simple partners._

_ "Yeah," Kensi admitted, "but how much do we _really _know about each other? We always use Sam and Deeks as these…social buffers…and I know you don't open up to anyone, but still…"_

_ "You don't exactly open up to anyone either," Callen pointed out._

_ Kensi took a second to suppress her feeling that their relationship was becoming increasingly one-sided before answering, "Yeah, but I'm willing to try, for the good of this partnership." _

_ He came to a halt; she deliberately held his eyes._

_ "Okay," he said after a few moments._

_ "Okay," she agreed, smiling a little at the thought of finding out more about the man who had become more than just a colleague and friend to her. Maybe, just maybe, with this whole partner thing, they could make this work after all._

_ Her hope was dashed with his next words, however._

_ "I'm listening," Callen said._

_ Kensi stared at him, feeling her hurt and disappointment bubbling up inside her again. She'd already told him more than she'd ever told anyone else, and he expected her to give up more without doing the same? Of course, she knew he was just proving a point – but still…_

_ He held her gaze for a long minute before she looked away, remembering the important parts of her life she hadn't told him yet._

_ "Let's just stick to the case," she suggested, climbing the stairs._

_ "Agreed," Callen concurred._

* * *

><p>Callen casually picked a newspaper from the stand and held it up to conceal his face before engaging in conversation with Sam, who'd met him at the coffee shop. There wasn't any real risk in the mission right now – the waiting period was almost never dangerous – and there was no harm in Jacob Carmel chatting with a friend, either; but still, it wouldn't do to have Alex Gordon drive by and catch sight of Jacob talking to someone who wasn't backstopped – especially since that someone was also an NCIS agent.<p>

Sam, of course, wasted no time in interrogating Callen about Kensi.

"How long have you and Kensi been seeing each other?" he asked bluntly.

Callen raised an eyebrow. He wasn't naïve; he'd been expecting this the moment Sam had asked to meet him, of course – but he still deflected.

"_This _is what you wanted to meet me for?"

Sam just gave him a look.

"Sam, I'm undercover," Callen emphasized. "This could jeopardize the mission."

Sam scoffed. "This mission is fairly low risk – for now, anyway." His voice turned serious. "And we need to talk about this."

Callen looked pained. "Do we really have to?"

"You were the one who said you would tell me if you could," Sam pointed out.

"True. I _did_ say that, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. Now stop stalling."

"How much do you want to know?"

Sam glared at him. "Really? Are you actually asking me that question?"

Callen sighed. "It's a long story," he warned.

"I've got time," Sam said evenly. This had been kept secret long enough; he was going to get the truth even if he had to stand out here all day. He still couldn't believe Callen and Kensi had kept something this big from them for over half a year.

"It started at Christmas," Callen began.

"Christmas?" Sam repeated. "It's August now. Christmas was seven months ago!"

Callen threw him a withering look. "I'm well aware of that."

Sam checked himself. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's just…Hetty told us that she thought you'd been seeing each other for about six months."

Callen shrugged. "Ah, it's close enough. Anyway, like I said, after the case with Talbot, I went over to Kensi's house to see if she was all right. One thing led to another, and…" He trailed off, leaving the rest to Sam's imagination.

"And what happened after that?" Sam queried.

"We promised we would never do it again. I had that rule about dating law enforcement, remember?" Callen chuckled. "Clearly, we see how well that turned out."

"Oh, yeah," Sam said, with just a hint of sarcasm. "I'd say that rule was just about broken, crumbled, sliced up, stabbed, bulldozed, and thrown out the window – along with Kensi's second-date rule." He sobered. "Seriously, though, G, how did it happen?"

Callen shrugged. "I honestly don't really know," he confessed. "It just did. After about a month we both knew it wasn't going to stop. Somehow, we'd…grown attached."

"So what happened?" Sam inquired. "Judging by your behavior the past few months, it's not all roses and peaches. What'd you do?"

"Why do you assume it's something I did?" Callen retorted, a tad defensively.

"Because Kensi's my little sister, and if she broke her second-date rule for you, it must have really meant something to her – too much for her to screw it up."

"Hey, I broke my rule, too," Callen reminded him. Sam rolled his eyes.

"You and I both know Kensi's not the type to break a relationship after she's committed herself to that level. Otherwise she wouldn't have been serial dating. Hell, she was _engaged _before, G. And I know you," he added.

"Yeah?" Callen said interestedly. "What do you know?"

"I know you're the type who doesn't allow anyone to get close, so it must really have scared you when Kensi started breaking that barrier."

Callen sighed. "It did," he admitted. "And you're right – it _was _my fault. Kensi wanted…more."

Sam sighed too, shaking his head. "Oh, boy," he remarked. "And you didn't give it to her."

"I couldn't." Callen's eyes were distant, faraway, tinged with remorse. Sam couldn't read Callen as well as Kensi could, but even he could tell that Callen wanted to take his relationship with Kensi to the next level – a fact that was confirmed by Callen's next words.

"I wanted to, Sam, but I just couldn't. It wasn't me. I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. Our business is dangerous, Sam – and there's no guarantee that we'll make it through each day. If I open up and I lose her – just like I did Sharon…"

Sam was silent for a moment as he considered that. "Kensi doesn't know, does she?"

Callen shook his head. "No. I never told her. It's a bit unfair, really – she's told me so many different parts of her life, and I still haven't told her any of mine – but there you have it. That's me." He smiled wryly. "The lone wolf."

"Even lone wolves have to settle down eventually, G," Sam pointed out.

"It's more than that," he admitted. "If we do this…we'll become a weakness for each other. All any criminal has to do is threaten one of us and the other will be thrown off focus. Kensi and I are both good agents – we've worked our asses off to get to where we are – and if we pursue this we'd be opening ourselves up to a certain amount of danger."

"You don't want to lose your effectiveness," Sam concluded.

"Right," Callen agreed. "And I don't want to be responsible for making Kensi lose hers, either."

"It doesn't have to be that way, G," said Sam. "You said it yourself – you and Kensi are both good agents, and I'm sure you can do your job just as well even if you're in a relationship." He smiled. "At least, that's what you told me earlier, if I remember correctly."

"That was before, Sam," Callen informed him. "Now, I'm not so sure." He paused for a while, thinking; then asked, "How did you manage it? With Lita?"

"Hmm…" Sam thought, absent-mindedly rubbing his left ring finger, where a wedding band should be – but wasn't, because of what he did for a living. "I don't think it applies, G," he said finally. "I married Lita when I was a SEAL. There was no deception there. And by the time I transferred to NCIS, we'd been together nine years, so it was natural for me to include her in my life. She was always going to be there." He chuckled slightly. "You've noticed, of course, that I keep her a closely guarded secret for precisely the reason you're worried about."

"Yeah," Callen agreed. Then he exhaled. "Thanks, Sam."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I assume you're not talking about my dragging you out here in the middle of the afternoon."

Callen snickered. "No. I'm talking about you making me talk about this messy relationship. Surprisingly, it's helped."

"That's what I keep telling you," said Sam. "It helps to talk these things out." He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "It'll work out somehow, G."

"Yeah." Callen lowered his newspaper and put it back on the stand. "First we have to get through this op."

Sam smiled. "Hm. True." He stuck his hand back in his pocket and lowered his voice. "You ready for tomorrow?"

"With you watching my back? Of course," Callen joked, making light.

Sam just looked resigned as he went off.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Ooh, we're getting very, very close to the prologue now. Tomorrow's chapter will take us there.**_

_**We've got quite a few episode tie-ins in here today - the most obvious being, of course, **Backstopped **(Season 3 Episode 3). Then there's **Disorder **(Season 2 Episode 11) again, and a slight allusion to Season 1 Episode 5 **Keepin' It Real**, because of Natalie Giordano's line that "she must have been some cop" to Callen's no-law-enforcement-dating rule in that episode. And I suppose if you want to be picky, you could allow that the mention of Kensi's second-date rule COULD be slight reference as well - but I can't remember which episode that's from.**_


	9. One Hour Earlier

_**A/N: Thanks to my reviewers **SP SVU B, ChlollieRockz, Rebel Magnus, terken, evershort, **and **vampirefirl2009 wolfgirl77769**; and thanks to **sheerylynn **for favoriting **E.O aLL tHe WAY **for adding this story to favorites.  
><strong>_

_**Now, this takes us all the way to the prologue. It's a jam-packed action chapter, so strap in your seatbelts and get ready for the ride!**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 8: One Hour Earlier<em>

"Okay, G, comms are up," Sam said, fixing his earpiece in place. When he heard nothing but static, he tried again. "G, do you read me?"

Then the crackle of static cleared, and Callen's voice came through. _"Yeah, I read you."_

"Kensi?" Sam queried.

_"Loud and clear, Sam," _she replied.

"Deeks, you on?"

_"On and ready," _the liaison responded.

"Renko?"

_"Present."_

"Nate?"

Said operational psychologist turned in the passenger seat of the car they were sharing to give Sam a funny look.

"I need to check your link," Sam explained innocently.

"It's functional," Nate answered.

"G, did you hear him?" Sam asked.

_"Yeah, I heard him. Eric, we good to go?"_

_ "Camera angles up and running; backup in place; Ops standing by…" _the technical operator replied. _"Yep. We're good."_

Sam quickly ran through their strategy in his head. Callen and Kensi were ready to enter the cosmetics store for the meet with Gordon; Sam and Nate were across the street, ready to go in at the slightest amount of trouble; Deeks and Renko were stationed in the back alley; and Eric, Nell, and Hetty were watching from Ops, as usual.

_"You may commence, Mr. Callen," _Hetty's voice said.

In response, Callen and Kensi, as Jacob and Alison Carmel, got out of their car and walked into the cosmetics store.

_"Here we go." _Renko's mutter was heard by everyone.

Sam knew the stakes had just gotten higher. It might have been low risk before, but it definitely wasn't now. But they'd all been in more potentially dangerous situations than this, and they'd made it through perfectly unscathed. So what was it about this op that unsettled him now?

* * *

><p><em>"Callen?" Kensi's voice was soft, uncertain. She paused hesitantly by the entryway to what they affectionately called 'their' space. She hadn't expected to find her team leader – now her partner – alone by himself in the bullpen at this particular time.<em>

_ Callen turned his head away so she wouldn't see the tears in his red eyes. She saw them anyway._

_ "G, have you been…crying?" she asked gently, slightly incredulously._

_ "No," he denied. She scoffed at the obvious lie as she walked closer._

_ "You're not fooling me," she told him. Slowly, she stretched out her arm and placed a tentative palm on his shoulder. They might not be on the best of terms right now – they might be arguing, and on fairly rocky ground – but Kensi Blye was not one to hold grudges when her friends needed her. And right now, even if he wouldn't admit it, she knew Callen needed someone to talk to._

_ "I'm fine, Kensi," Callen insisted, pulling away._

_ Kensi sighed exasperatedly. "G Callen, for once in your life, stop trying to lie to me and let me in."_

_ "Are we going to start this again?" he asked with a hint of weariness._

_ "Callen," she said firmly, "I know we have our differences, but right now, you need a friend, and I'm willing to be just that – a friend. Not…whatever we were or are."_

_ "Just a friend?" he questioned._

_ "Just a friend," she affirmed. She sat, uninvited, on his desk. "So, as a friend, I'm asking: what's the matter?"_

_ "As a friend, can I say no?" Callen countered._

_ Kensi fixed him with a stare. "Callen…" she said warningly._

_ He sighed. "Hetty's back," he said._

_ Kensi raised an eyebrow. "While that is very interesting news that I'm sure everyone would love to know, I have to ask how this relates to you sitting here, alone, in the dark, with tears in your eyes."_

_ Callen exhaled. "She told me about my mother," he answered softly._

_ Kensi's gaze softened as understanding sank in. "Oh, G," she sighed. "Did you get the answers you were looking for?"_

_ "Some of them," he replied. He looked quizzically at her. "You don't seem surprised that Hetty knew my mother."_

_ Kensi shrugged. "It's not exactly news to me, Callen. I suspected, after Prague."_

_ "You really are an exceptional agent," he commented. She smiled, accepting the compliment, enjoying the warmth that was currently missing in their relationship. Callen's sharing had brought some of what she loved most about their connection back into their lives._

_ "What did she tell you?" she asked._

_ "Everything she knew," he replied._

_ "Knowing Hetty, that must have been a lot," Kensi said light-heartedly. _

_However, Callen didn't chuckle. He merely replied, "Yeah. It was."_

_ Kensi hesitated, wary of the bitterness in his tone, before asking her next question. "What was her name?"_

_ "Clara." Callen spoke the name with a deep sadness – but also a profound sense of comfort and love. After all his years of searching, he finally had some closure – some connection to his past, his family – even if it had also brought him pain. "Her name was Clara."_

_ "She loved you." It wasn't a question._

_ "She did," he agreed. _

_ "Do you remember her?"_

_ "A little. Hetty gave me a photo, and it brought up some old memories. She had black hair, fair skin. Her eyes were blue, like mine."_

_ "What did she call you?"_

_ "I don't know." The bitter tone was back. "She was on an undercover assignment in Romania for the CIA. Hetty was her handler. But she disappeared for six years. When she finally resurfaced, she was killed before she could get out of the country." He exhaled. "Hetty never even knew she had children until after she died."_

_ Kensi remained quiet, offering him sympathy in her silence._

_ "I'm sorry."_

_ Callen sighed. "So am I, Kensi. So am I." _

_Kensi sighed too as she stood up. Somehow, she sensed that Callen was done talking. The magic of the moment had passed; reality had returned. There were still unresolved issues between her and Callen, and they couldn't fully repair their relationship until those were sorted out. "See you tomorrow, Callen." She started to walk away._

_ "Hey, Kensi," he called after her. She half-turned, her eyes questioning._

_ "This morning, when you said you wanted us to open up to each other to make this partnership work, you had a look on your face…what did it mean?"_

_ Kensi immediately threw up her guard, her walls surrounding her. She exhaled as she felt the final vestiges of the spell of the moment shatter and dissipate. "Goodnight, Callen," she said with finality, walking away._

_ Callen frowned after her, momentarily forgetting his tumultuous emotions in his puzzlement at her reaction. His stomach tightened slightly at the thought of there being more tragedies in Kensi's life besides the ones she had already told him._

_ He convinced himself it was no business of his; their relationship was over – now they just had to find some semblance of the friendship they used to share to settle into until they reached the point where it no longer hurt._

This _was why he didn't – or shouldn't – date law enforcement._

_ Sighing, he straightened his desk before leaving the office._

* * *

><p>The string of bells over the door tinkled softly as Callen and Kensi entered the air-conditioned store.<p>

"Cute," Kensi commented.

"Jake! Allie! Welcome!" Gordon greeted expansively, coming out to meet them.

"Nicknames?" Callen inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, we're all friends now, aren't we?"

Kensi stepped closer to Callen on the pretext of taking his hand. Gordon was being entirely too jovial for her comfort.

"So, where's your friend?" Callen asked, looking all over.

"He's at the factory."

"The factory?" Kensi repeated.

"Yeah." Gordon lowered his voice. "See, this store is just our front – a place for customers to buy our product, if you get what I mean. They can purchase their goods as makeup and lotions."

"What about people who don't want to buy the product?" Kensi wanted to know.

"Well, we've got samples of the real thing to give them. It's quite profitable, actually."

"So…do you have _our _product?" Callen questioned.

Gordon coughed as he edged closer. "Not here," he said. "The truth is, I asked you to meet me here so we could take my car to the factory for the meet. This is to throw off anyone who might have followed you here." Kensi started to protest, but Gordon cut her off. "Unlikely, I know – but my business is a little outside the law. It's harmless, really – but the cops don't see it that way. Of course," he added, "if you tell anyone, that means no more contact, and you could get into some trouble – especially since I'll deny even knowing you." His tone was light, pleasant even, but there was no mistaking the veiled threat in it.

"Okay…" Callen put on a show of looking hesitant. "So where's your factory?"

"Follow me," Gordon beckoned, leading them to the back of the store.

* * *

><p>"Shit," Deeks swore. "This wasn't on the agenda."<p>

_"We're gonna be out of position," _Nate agreed.

_"Eric, what type of car is Gordon driving?" _ Sam queried.

_"It's a silver Volvo," _Eric replied. _"It's pulling out of the alley now."_

"We're up," said Renko, revving the engine. "Sam, I'll tail them. You follow me."

_"Got it," _Sam agreed.

"Let's go." Renko steered the car out of parking mode.

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later, Gordon pulled up at a rural cosmetics factory by the beach.<p>

"Come on," he said, killing the engine. "Let's go."

"This is where you…keep your stock?" Kensi asked, climbing out of the car.

"Something like that," Gordon confessed, locking the door.

The three of them made their way to the somewhat run-down building; they were met at the entrance by a burly, bearded man with dark eyes. Following the man were several others – all members of the same drug ring.

"Jacob, Alison, meet Harvey Simmons…my boss," Gordon introduced. "Harv, this is the couple I was telling you about." Leaning towards the two agents, he added, "Harv's the one you'll have to deal with if this goes south. He's not as nice as I am."

The threat was no longer veiled. Callen and Kensi gulped to play up their characters' fear, while they concealed their surprise at Gordon introducing Simmons as his 'boss'. Apparently Gordon was not the real chief here – Simmons was. Gordon was just a decoy.

They both heard Sam telling Eric to run a search on Simmons, and they both heard Eric's reply.

_"Bingo. The twenty thousand in Cross' account was wired to him from Simmons after a series of emails about the hit on Campbell."_

_"This is big," _Nell's voice intruded. _"There must be twelve, thirteen drug dealers with you in there."_

Harvey Simmons stared at them impassively, noting the anxiety they were expertly radiating.

"You're nervous," he observed. "Good. Means you'll be less likely to rat on us."

"We wouldn't, sir," Kensi lied, imbuing her voice skillfully with just the right touch of terror.

"You'd better not." Simmons switched track. "I understand you need some cocaine for your niece."

"Yes, sir," Callen admitted. "She's an addict, and we're trying to wean her off slowly."

"Gordon told you the deal?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Follow me."

He led them to a supply room in the back of the building – followed by his entire posse – and pulled out a package of white powder from one of the boxes stacked there. Tossing it to Callen, he said, "There you go. Five kg's of pure, high-grade cocaine. Should be enough for your niece."

_"Well done, Mr. Callen, Miss Blye," _Hetty's voice spoke in their ears. _"We have the proof we need. Now buy the drugs and get out of there."_

Callen counted out the money Hetty had given him for this purpose and handed it to Simmons. When the drug lord nodded approvingly, Callen took it as his cue to leave.

"Well, thanks," he said, slinging an arm around Kensi's waist. "I guess we'll just be going now. Gordon, you mind taking us back to the store?"

"Not so fast," Gordon said. "I told you if this went wrong, you'd have Simmons to deal with, didn't I?"

"What do you mean?" Kensi asked, even as Simmons stepped closer, threateningly. The other men strategically spread out and surrounded them in a tight circle. Kensi's heart sank. This was going wrong, very wrong.

"What he means," Simmons explained, "is that you are not going anywhere, because you're going to sell us out the moment you leave."

* * *

><p>"Crap, we gotta go in," said Deeks, halfway reaching for the door handle. Renko's arm shot out to restrain him.<p>

"Not yet," he warned. "They haven't said the distress word."

"Screw the distress word!" Deeks exclaimed. "They've been made!"

"Callen and Kensi can handle themselves," Renko disagreed.

"They're unarmed, outnumbered, outgunned, and in the company of nearly fifteen dangerous drug dealers," Deeks pointed out. "Not to mention all the problems they've had lately. You really wanna risk it?"

"What problems?" Renko asked.

Deeks immediately clammed up. He'd forgotten Renko didn't know about the strain in the two agents' relationship. "I – forget it. I'm saying we have to go in now."

"And I'm saying we wait," said Renko, "at least for a while. Sam, what do you think?"

There was a short silence over the comm as Sam contemplated this.

_"Middle ground," _the ex-SEAL decided finally. _"We'll get out and position ourselves outside, but we don't go in yet. G and Kensi might still talk their way out. They're good that way."_

"All right," Renko agreed. He opened his door. "Coming, Deeks?"

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we don't know what you're talking about," Callen lied smoothly, playing up nervousness.<p>

Gordon snorted. "Right." Simultaneously, he and Simmons pulled out guns, to exclamations of shock and surprise on the 'Carmels'' part. "Let's try that again," he suggested, as the other drug dealers followed suit.

_"G, you want us to come in?" _Sam's concerned voice inquired.

"Let's not be hasty," Callen said, choosing his words carefully; Gordon and Simmons thought he was talking to them, but Sam knew he was telling him not to come in yet. "Look, we gave you our word that we aren't going to tell anyone."

"Sorry, can't take you at your word," Gordon said conversationally.

"Why not?" Kensi squeaked, making her voice high and fearful.

"Because," he answered, "I drove by Hollywood Boulevard yesterday and what do I see? I see Jake here" – he used his gun to point – "talking to a big, bald guy – and then I see that same big, bald guy in a car outside the store earlier today."

Kensi's heart jumped in her chest. There was no way they were talking their way out of this one. Beside her, Callen stiffened, silently berating himself for not being more careful, for not insisting that he and Sam wait before talking about Kensi.

Over the comm link, Sam had had enough – he'd given the order to go in.

_"Twenty seconds, G," _the big agent assured his partner. The words varied in tone and quality, so they knew he was on the move. Kensi didn't allow herself any form of relief, however. Twenty seconds was more than enough time to fire a gun.

Gordon was still talking; his voice had lowered to a near-whisper, taking on a menacing edge.

"I told you it would be bad for you if this went wrong, remember?" he reminded them for what must have been the third time that afternoon. "And unlike you, I'm a man of my word."

Without any prodding, merciless in his lack of hesitation, Harvey Simmons raised his Sig Sauer and fired a shot that froze all who heard it.

The second shot, seconds later, unfroze them and had them all rushing around; banging the door in, rushing in with their guns raised, announcing their presence, as per protocol.

The next flurry of shots – too many to count – were all part of the ensuing firefight.

When silence finally reigned again, the inevitable made itself known, painfully, insistently.

Their agent, riddled with two bleeding gunshot wounds, lying prone on the floor.

The nightmare was indisputable.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Right now you guys are probably complaining bitterly about how evil I am for STILL not revealing who it was who got shot - because I know most of you were expecting to find out today. But there's really no need to kill me - honest! - 'cause the answer you've all been waiting for will be revealed tomorrow, that I promise.**_

_**This chapter alludes mostly to Season 3 episodes **Lange, H. **(Episode 1),** Backstopped **(Episode 3), and **Deadline** (Episode 4) - but there are also tiny references to Season 2's **Familia**.**_


	10. The Present

_**A/N: Today, we get to the answer you've all been waiting for since the prologue - WHO. Got. Shot? Hehe.**_

_**Thanks to **DizzyDrea, terken, SP SVU B, **and **Rebel Magnus **for reviewing, and thanks to **tjn1 **and **cdfuller21 **for adding this story to alerts.**_

_**Now...are you ready? You'd better be, 'cause ready or not, the bomb drops now.**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 9: The Present<em>

Sam knew the minute he heard the gunshot that one of them – either Callen or Kensi – had been hit. He kept it together, kept it cool, all through the entry and subsequent gunfight, putting bullets in several of Simmons' men. He told himself that he didn't _know _if anyone had taken the shot, that there was still hope that they were both uninjured – but he was lying to himself, and he knew it. As a SEAL, he'd developed an instinct, a sixth sense that alerted him whenever a member of his unit was in danger. That intuition had carried on into his career as an NCIS agent, and it was screaming at him now, telling him one of his friends was hurt.

And when he saw who it was bleeding on the floor, he just about had a heart attack. A cold feeling of vicious panic landed on him, like a twenty Newton punch to the gut.

_No…not again…_

"G!" he shouted, rushing to his partner's side. "No…come on, G, don't do this to me again!"

Behind him, Deeks yelled into the comm link for Eric to send an ambulance, while Nate and Renko went off to scout the back, just to make sure there wasn't anyone else lurking about. Sam barely paid any attention to them – all his focus was on trying to stop the bright red blood soaking through his best friend's shirt.

"G, come on!" he exclaimed. "Stay with me, buddy, you hear me? I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you."

It's doubtful if Callen heard him. The lead agent lay limp on the floor, drawing gasping breaths of air that racked his body with shudders.

It was bad. It was very bad. Sam clamped down hard on his fear, forcefully squashing it from him. He needed a clear head if he wanted to help Callen.

Sam tried to convince himself that this wasn't as bad as the Russian shooting the year before last. Callen had survived that – he would survive this. But somehow, the conviction wasn't coming.

Then Kensi dropped down beside him, her eyes wide and fearful. "G…" she whispered, reaching out to touch his head. For one excruciating moment, her panic swelled until it crashed over her, and threatened to overwhelm her completely – but she swallowed it down. "Oh, G…"

Callen's eyes fluttered. "Kenz…" he managed weakly.

"Don't, G, don't," she pleaded. "You're gonna be okay. You have to be okay. You promised, remember?"

"I remember…"

"Hey, G, stop talking," Sam commanded, pressing more firmly on Callen's wounds.

Callen gave a weak, half-hearted chuckle that wrung at Kensi's heart.

"Ambulance is on its way," Deeks announced as he knelt down to help Sam control the bleeding. His voice lowered. "He's gonna be okay, right?" he asked softly.

Sam hesitated several seconds before answering with the truth – the painful, uncertain truth.

"I don't know."

* * *

><p><em>Callen, Kensi, Sam, and Deeks trudged back into OSP after a grueling interrogation at the boathouse with a stubborn suspect.<em>

_ "Now, you see, if we'd gone good cop bad cop like I wanted, he'd have sung like a canary," Deeks was complaining. "Instead, we went with your 'You're going to jail anyway, so might as well 'fess up' tough guy track, and he completely clammed up."_

_ "Deeks, do me a favor," said Sam. "Shut up."_

_ "He does have a point, though," Kensi defended her former partner._

_ "Oh, you're taking his side now?"_

_ Kensi held up her hands placatingly. "I'm just saying. Maybe you rubbed him the wrong way."_

_ "No, Sam's approach was spot on," Callen disagreed. "But sometimes you come across the tough nuts, the ones who are really impossible to crack."_

_ "Never happened to me," said Deeks. He clapped a hand on Sam's back. "So, partner, you wanna take another shot at the guy later?"_

_ Sam harrumphed and elbowed his arm out of the way. "Stay away from me, Deeks. Okay?" He walked on ahead of the group._

_ "Aw, c'mon! You gonna be that way?" Deeks called. "Partner?"_

_ Their not-so-friendly argument was interrupted by a shrill, familiar whistle that had been missing for too long. Eric, especially, delighted in his freedom to whistle again and blew for as long and loud as his breath would allow._

_ "We get it already, Eric," Sam said pointedly as they made their way up._

_ Eric smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," he apologized. "Just celebrating."_

_ Hetty was waiting for them in Ops._

_ "Good afternoon, agents – and detective," she added, glancing at Deeks. "Since Agent Hunter rearranged your partnerships two weeks ago, I have been keeping a close watch on you to see how it would work, and I've come to a conclusion." She shook her head. "This new dynamic is _not _working. Therefore, I am putting you back in your original partnerships, effective immediately."_

_ "All right!" Deeks rejoiced. "See, Kensi? I told you you couldn't get rid of me that easily."_

_ The atmosphere was generally much improved after that re-switch. Hetty, of course, could not fail to notice the extra relief that both Callen and Kensi were trying to hide._

* * *

><p>The hospital was a bustle of nurses, doctors, and equipment. Occasionally, down the long corridors that housed the wards, an urgent voice would announce a code and call for backup. The white lights overhead were too bright, the medicinal smell of antiseptic too strong.<p>

For Kensi, it was hell.

She was the only one who had ridden in the ambulance with Callen – during the trip, he had flatlined twice – and she had followed him as far as she could, but she couldn't go into the OR, where the doctors and nurses were now working to save his life.

_He's gonna be okay, he's gonna be okay, _she kept chanting to herself, like a mantra, over and over.

She should have known something was up the minute Gordon asked them to ride with him to the factory. She should have sniffed the trap before they were too deep in it. She should have reacted faster, pulled Callen out of the way – hell, she should have stepped forward so _she _could take the bullet.

She was the one it was meant for, anyway.

Simmons had been aiming at her when he shot, and Kensi had frozen, sure she was going to die – but Callen, moving faster than she would have thought possible, had jumped forwards and pushed her down out of the way, taking the bullet that would have killed her.

_Why, Callen, why? _she moaned inwardly. Why not just let the bullet hit her? It would have been quick, over within a minute – unlike the agonizing waiting she was enduring now.

It was her fault…all her fault. Kensi buried her face in her hands and willed herself not to cry.

A gentle hand on her shoulder alerted her to someone's presence.

"Shh, dearie, it will be all right," Hetty's motherly voice comforted. Kensi looked up and saw that Sam, Deeks, Nate, Eric, Nell, and Renko were all gathered in the waiting room, having just arrived.

"Did they say anything?" Sam asked – and she knew he was talking about the doctors. She shook her head.

"No, nothing," she replied, wishing she could say otherwise. The doctors hadn't been able to tell her if Callen would live or die.

"He'll pull through, Kenz," Renko said reassuringly. "I've never seen anyone tougher than Callen – except maybe you."

Kensi stiffened at his use of Callen's nickname for her. Renko was probably trying to comfort her, but that name was off-limits to everyone except Callen.

Luckily for Renko, Deeks chose that moment to sling a kindly arm around Kensi, and Kensi – despite the fact that she would normally injure Deeks in some form, shape, or way for daring to touch her without permission – allowed herself to relax into his embrace, feeling him offer her the encouragement she desperately needed.

"He'll be okay, Kensi," Deeks said softly.

* * *

><p><em>Callen sighed as he unlocked the door to his house and went in. Switching on the lights, he half-expected to see Kensi there, waiting for him – but she wasn't, and he was reminded why.<em>

_ He wanted to be the man she deserved, really he did – but he couldn't change who he was. The last time he had opened up – really, truly entrusted himself to someone – it had ended in tragedy._

_ Back in the day, when he'd been FBI, he'd met an agent named Sharon Wilcox. And she'd been a hell of an agent, too. Smart, skilled, and stunningly beautiful, she'd been humorously known as Super Sharon because she somehow escaped everything her job threw at her – be it criminals, gunfights, bomb blasts, or paperwork – and she had a lot of those._

_ Sharon's piercing grey eyes and sharp insight had seen right through Callen's lone wolf façade, and for over a year she had slowly chipped her way through his protective wall and inserted herself into his life._

_ Their relationship was not exactly a secret; colleagues used to tease them about the slow pace they were going at and kept asking when they were going to make it official already._

_ Before they could even begin to take that step, however, Sharon was killed after she'd been compromised during an undercover up. One shot, and it was all over; Super Sharon had finally encountered something she couldn't escape _ –_ death._

_Callen had never allowed anyone else to get close since. _

_ And the sad part was, he'd never even told Sharon he loved her._

* * *

><p>To Nate, it felt like the clock was ticking way too slowly. The eight of them had been sitting there waiting for the past three hours, but none of them even thought to get up to stretch their legs.<p>

Callen was too important to all of them for them to consider leaving, even for a while.

Actually, on second thought, Callen was important to all of them, but he was only _too _important to one person. Nate swiveled his head to look at her.

Kensi.

While Nate was experiencing more concern than he'd ever thought possible, he was not blind to Kensi's pain. As the former operational psychologist, he'd gotten closer to the agents at OSP than they usually allowed – courtesy of his ability to get into their heads. So he knew how Kensi must be feeling.

Nate didn't know for sure how deep the relationship between Callen and Kensi actually went, but he was aware it had reached the point where they needed each other – even if they were too stubborn to admit it. He was also fairly certain that, if given the chance, their relationship would blossom into something magical; once they actually managed to get past their barriers, they would each find a complement to themselves in the other – they had a lot in common, after all.

Of course, that was provided that Callen lived.

"It's been too long," Sam said, the strain of worry evident in his tone. "Shouldn't we have heard something by now?"

Just then, right on cue, a doctor in a surgical lab coat came out of the OR.

"Family of Agent Callen?" he inquired, looking at them.

"Yes," Hetty answered.

"How is he, doc?" Sam asked anxiously.

The doctor sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair.

"I'm not going to lie to you," he stated bluntly. "Agent Callen's injuries were…severe. The first bullet nicked his aorta, and the second perforated his lung. He made it through surgery, and he's stable for the moment, but other than that there really isn't anything I can tell you about his condition." He gazed sympathetically around at the little group. "I'll tell you this much, though – he's a fighter. We lost him twice on the table, but he pulled through each time. If he can make it through 24 hours without any complications, his chances for recovery will be much greater."

Kensi inhaled deeply and leaned against the wall; Sam's mask slid into place, hiding his fear of the unknown; Nell unconsciously leaned against Eric for reassurance; Nate kept his raging worry hidden under a poker face learned from psychology training; Renko nodded slightly; and Hetty sighed.

"Can we see him?" Kensi queried hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure she should be asking that question.

"He's being moved up to the ICU now – once he's settled, you can visit him one at a time," the doctor replied.

"Thank you," Hetty said. He nodded before moving on.

* * *

><p><em>Callen felt, rather than heard, Kensi's presence behind him. To be honest, he was a little surprised. Ever since Hetty had switched them back into their original partnerships, the two of them had carefully avoided all but the most necessary of contact. The fact that Kensi was hanging around at the office after hours told him she had something she wanted to discuss.<em>

_ "Go ahead, Kensi," he said, giving her the opening she needed._

_ "Callen, look," she began. "I don't want things to stay this way. If we can't move forward, I'd like to go back to the way we were."_

_ Callen sighed. "I do, too, Kensi – but unfortunately, I don't think it's possible."_

_ She nodded. "I know. But maybe, if we agreed to forget about this…thing we had, and never mention it, we might regain a semblance of what we had before."_

_ "We can try," Callen agreed cautiously, "but honestly, I'm not sure it'll work."_

_ "I'm not sure, either," Kensi admitted. "But it's worth a shot."_

_ "Yeah, it is."_

_ She tentatively offered her hand; he grasped it and they shook on it._

* * *

><p>Kensi breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm herself. Sam had offered her the first turn visiting Callen – even though <em>he<em> desperately wanted to go in first – but she had refused, saying she needed time to prepare herself. So Sam had gone in first, but after he came out, Kensi still couldn't bring herself to go in, and convinced Eric to take her place. And so on and so forth, until everyone except she, Hetty, and Renko had taken their turn in the ICU ward with their injured teammate.

Kensi badly wanted to go in and see how Callen was doing – but at the same time she was terrified of the prospect of seeing him so weak. She didn't know if she could handle seeing him like that. She probably would have delayed further, if Hetty hadn't insisted she go in after Nate came out.

"You need to see him, Miss Blye," the motherly Operations Manager said kindly, but firmly.

"I want to, Hetty, but…"

"Kensi, I do not need to remind you that there is a very real chance that we will lose him," Hetty informed her. "If you don't go in now, and Mr. Callen dies, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Believe me, you don't want that kind of heartache."

So Kensi, her heart pounding, stepped into the ward where Callen was.

Callen lay unconscious on the bed, the blanket pulled over him. His face was pale, his torso covered in bandages, and he was hooked up to various monitors and machines. Kensi's breath caught in her throat, and she had to will herself not to panic. This was even worse than Laura…

_This isn't Laura, _she told herself firmly. _It's Callen, and he's gonna be okay._

Slowly, she made her way over to the visitor's chair and dropped into it.

"Hey," she said. "It's me."

Nothing answered her except the steady beeping of Callen's heart monitor. Kensi inhaled, sucking air into her lungs before leaning forward.

"I don't know if you can hear me," she continued, "but if you can, I want you to know that we're all waiting for you. Everyone." She chuckled weakly. "I don't think we're gonna move until you show some sign of improvement – unless Hetty kicks us all out."

It was eerie, talking to someone who didn't talk back – especially if that someone was usually alert and lively, and trading smart remarks with everyone. Kensi struggled to hold onto what remained of her slipping composure.

"You know you're gonna be disappointing a lot of people if you cross over to the other side, right?" she said, trying to keep her voice light – but sure that if he'd been awake, he would be able to hear the tears in her voice.

Kensi paused again. This was awkward.

"Look," she tried again, "I don't pretend to know what to do in a situation like this. Truth be told, I've never been in a situation like this before. But you know what? I do have one thing to tell you." She leaned close and whispered something into his ear. Then she straightened in her chair and smiled half-heartedly. "I'll see you when you wake up, G."

She refrained from adding the _if _in the sentence.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Aha - yes, it was Callen who got shot. I'll admit I was demurring between Callen and Kensi, but in the end I decided it would be Callen.  
><em>**

**_Today's chapter was just FILLED with episode allusions, a few going all the way back to _**_Legend, Pt 2 **(NCIS Season 6 Episode...20?) and **Identity **(back to NCIS: LA - Season 1 Episode 1). There were also mentions that referred to **Keepin' It Real **(Season 1 Episode 5), again for Natalie Giordano's comment; **Cyber Threat **(Season 3 Episode 2), **Backstopped **(Season 3 Episode 3), and **Deadline **(Season 3 Episode 4). I do believe that's the most episode tie-ins in a single chapter so far.**_

**_Don't go away, because tomorrow's chapter should see a very shocking surprise for everyone. It was a surprise to ME when I wrote it. I had no idea it was going to go there. Foreboding, much?_**


	11. One Day Later

_**A/N: Many, many thanks to **evershort, ChlollieRockz, cdfuller21, Rebel Magnus, TwilightPony21, **and an anonymous person for reviewing, and thanks to **coul915 **for adding this story to alerts!**_

_**Now, remember I said there was going to be a surprise this chapter? Read on to find out what it is! It comes quite early on - in the first scene - and you'd better prepare yourself, 'cause it is SHOCKING!**_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 10: One Day Later<em>

Hetty quietly opened the door to the hospital ward, tsk-ing to herself when she saw who was inside.

Kensi was slumped over in the chair, her head resting on her arms on Callen's bed. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing deeply.

Hetty smiled slightly. The scene was so peaceful, so serene – unlike the panicked frenzy of yesterday.

Eric and Nell had long since left to return to Ops, followed by Nate and Renko (Renko had had to leave for a new assignment, but had made Sam promise to call when they had more news of Callen's condition). Deeks had stayed well past midnight before he went home to get some sleep – but Kensi and Sam had actually stood up to Hetty when she told them to follow suit and flat-out refused to leave the hospital. The diminutive Operations Manager, however, cleverly worked around Sam's stubbornness by getting Lita to call him. The ex-SEAL couldn't deny his wife's pleas for him to come home.

Kensi, on the other hand, was another matter.

Hetty was well aware of how Kensi felt about Callen – and more in the know than she let on about their relationship. She knew perfectly well why it had hit – not quite rock-bottom, but something close to it – and why it was starting to warm up again. And for this to happen so soon after they had reconciled and agreed to give it another try…well, it was nothing short of a cruel twist of fate, and Hetty had not had the heart to put her full effort into getting Kensi home – if she had, even Kensi would not be able to resist her.

Every situation had a line, though.

Hetty walked over to Kensi and gently shook her shoulder. The young agent jerked awake and blinked owlishly.

"Hetty?" she questioned, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

"I seem to recall telling you to go home, Miss Blye," Hetty said wryly.

In answer, Kensi glanced, almost involuntarily, at Callen's still face. Hetty almost had to chuckle at how topsy-turvy the situation had become. From being unwilling to visit Callen, Kensi had progressed to refusing to leave his bedside after her second turn in the ward.

"I will keep an eye on him," Hetty assured her. "And Sam will take the next shift. He's in good hands." Her tone turned stern. "Now, go home." As Kensi opened her mouth to protest, she added firmly, "It is not a request, Miss Blye."

Kensi sighed, but nodded. But just as she rose to leave, one of the computers in the room emitted sharp, urgent beeps. Within seconds, the rapid beeps had blended into a long, high whine that spiked daggers of ice cold fear into Kensi and that brought doctors and nurses running.

"Oh, he's crashing," said one doctor with a stethoscope around the neck of her pristine lab coat. Cool, professional fingers checked the pulse in Callen's jugular artery. Finding no heartbeat, the doctor announced, "No pulse. Call a code!"

"Get the crash cart in here!" someone else yelled.

Kensi had erupted into panic at the words, 'No pulse'.

"G!" she shouted.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, you need to get out of here," a nurse said kindly, but urgently.

Kensi, however, refused to be shooed. She nimbly dodged the nurse's restraining arm and rushed to Callen's side.

"Ma'am, I need you to step away…" said the doctor who had called the code – apparently she was the lead physician here. Kensi ignored her.

"G, don't do this," she begged. "You made me a promise…you said you'd never leave…G, you promised!"

Meanwhile, the doctor had ripped the front Callen's hospital-issue gown open to expose his bare chest, and was now holding the paddles of the defibrillator machine on the crash cart a nurse had wheeled in.

"Ma'am, step back!" she commanded forcefully.

Kensi showed no signs of moving, but Hetty took charge of the situation; sidestepping the despairing nurse who was trying to get them out, she placed restraining hands on Kensi and made her move away so the doctors could work on Callen.

Once Kensi was out of the way, the doctor placed the paddles at the necessary points on Callen's chest.

"Charging…clear!"

An electric jolt surged into Callen's body, causing him to jerk. The long, consistent whine of his heart monitor, though, did not waver.

"G…" Kensi whispered fearfully. "Come on, G!"

"Charge to 200," the doctor ordered. "Charging…clear!"

Another shock, another jerk…but still no change.

"Charge to 300. Charging…clear!"

Hetty looked on anxiously, preparing herself for the worst. In her arms, Kensi cried softly.

"Charge to 400. Charging…clear!"

The nurse monitoring Callen's vitals shook her head at the doctor's questioning look. "Still no response, doctor."

"Damn it," the doctor swore. With a sad sigh, she lifted the paddles and placed them back on the cart. Kensi watched disbelievingly. "Call it," the doctor said to the young intern next to her.

"No!" Kensi cried. "You can't give up! You can't! You've gotta do it again!"

The doctor, however, was shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but when patients don't respond at a charge of 400…"

"No!" Kensi shrieked. Wrenching herself from Hetty's arms, she sprinted to the bed. "G, come on…you've gotta come back…please, G, don't leave me!" she pleaded. "You said you wouldn't leave…you promised!"

The experienced medical staff in the room sighed, exchanging sympathetic glances with each other. They had all seen this same picture repeated in others, too many times. It never got any less tragic.

The young intern – the one asked to call time of death – on the other hand, had never witnessed the heartbreaking scene before his eyes now. His throat closed up as he tried to do his duty, to call time of death…but the words stuck in his vocal cords, and wouldn't come out.

"Kensi…" Hetty soothed, touching the younger woman's shoulder. "Come, dear." Her voice was aged, full of sorrow and grief. "There's nothing we can do…"

"No!" Kensi shouted, as Hetty tried to pull her away. This couldn't be the end. She refused to believe it. "G, please…" she begged.

Deep down, she knew there was no longer any hope…G Callen was gone, and nothing anyone could say or do would bring him back. But she was trying to protect herself; by denying the reality, she hoped – foolishly – that she could reshape it into something different, something better. She had let this man into her heart, her life – and he had become such a big part of her, integrated himself to such an extent – that to let him go now would be to tear away half of who she was.

It would damage her…beyond repair.

Kensi couldn't live with that – and she knew she couldn't – so she automatically rejected it, refused to accept this reality.

It might just kill her to accept it, which was precisely why she couldn't.

* * *

><p><em>The punching bag in the gym was usually not utilized by any of OSP's lead team unless they were upset about something or someone. Its most frequent visitor was Sam, who made it a habit to take out any anger, sadness, or hurt on the bag until he'd worked it out of his system – which had subsequently earned the bag the unenviable position of being 'Sam's'. Once or twice, the late – and greatly missed – Dom had used it to clear his head as well – and occasionally, even Callen and Deeks would throw a few punches at it.<em>

_ The bag had never, however, ever been used by Kensi…until now._

_ The female agent usually chose to express her emotions verbally or in her journal, if at all – normally she kept them bottled up and didn't open up to anyone. Of course, given that Callen had been one of the few who were the exception to this rule, it made sense that he would also be the reason she was beating the crap out of Sam's punching bag for the first time in her life._

_ Every punch she threw at the bag was a representation of the anger, hurt, and frustration she was feeling over a certain blue-eyed lead agent. _

_ After their promise to try to be friends again, both of them had put in a sincere effort…an effort that was destroyed after Callen had blown up at her after an investigation into a missing Comescu family member that struck too close to home. His Achilles heel – his family – had flared up again, effectively tearing apart the reconciliatory measures they'd made._

_ So here she was, at nine in the evening, fighting the punching bag for all she was worth, because she had just come to terms with the truth that she and Callen would never be able to be 'just friends' again._

_ She had accepted the reality._

_She had accepted that they could only either be mere acquaintances or lovers…and since the latter seemed highly unlikely, it appeared that she and Callen would only be able to pursue a lukewarm acquaintanceship until they stopped working together._

_ She hated it._

_ She'd accepted it, but she hated it._

* * *

><p>Kensi sat by herself in a corner of the waiting room, numb from grief. Her chin rested on her knees, and her arms wrapped around her legs, squeezing them tightly against her body, as if such a defensive position could protect her, shelter her from the frightening, impossible reality that surrounded her.<p>

A gentle hand landed on her shoulder, and she cast blank brown eyes up at filled green-grey ones behind glasses.

"Here, dear," Hetty said, offering her the cup of coffee in her hand. Kensi, running on autopilot, automatically reached out for it and took a few sips while Hetty settled next to her.

"I've already told Sam and the others," Hetty continued, her voice heavy, filled with sadness.

Kensi nodded dully, unable to speak. She kept sipping at her coffee, reveling at the feel of the hot liquid sliding down her throat, warming her cold, numb insides.

She couldn't believe he was gone.

After all he had been through, everything he had done…G Callen was really and truly dead. Never again would he laugh and jest with Sam; never again would he tease her about Project Runway; never again would he take control of a heated situation, or go flawlessly undercover, or argue stubbornly with Hetty…no, G Callen would never do any of that, ever again.

_"Time of death: 8:41 am."_

That was what the intern had declared, stuttering and swallowing, offering Kensi and Hetty his deepest sympathy with his eyes. Kensi knew he would never look at death the same way again, just as she would never be able to think about OSP, or NCIS, without thinking of Callen.

A few minutes later, when Sam, Deeks, Eric, Nell, and Nate arrived, her coffee was all finished, and she had returned to brooding over the – worse than unfortunate, the _miserable _– turn of events. But she lifted her head to see how the others were taking the news.

Sam was, understandably, in shock. His face was a mask of disbelief and sorrow, with only a few tells showing how deeply he was truly hurting.

Deeks' face wore an expression not unlike the one he'd assumed when Ray's car blew up – but unlike that time, this was not an act.

Eric was blank, unaccepting; Nell was the opposite, crying into his T-shirt.

And Nate had walled himself off, retreating to the psychologist within to analyze and deal with his pain.

Deeks was the first to reach her. With all the compassion he could muster, he enveloped Kensi into a hug. At his touch, the grieving agent finally allowed herself to let go, to mourn for the man she had loved. In the sanctuary of her partner's arms, Kensi Blye allowed herself to cry.

And then they were all crying, grieving. Even Hetty allowed her iron control, her impeccable composure, to slip, and permitted her pain release in the form of her hot tears. All masks faded away, all facades fell, all walls crumbled. In this one, unbearable moment, they were united in their grief for one they would never forget.

* * *

><p><em>Callen sighed as he settled, for the sixth night in a row, on the couch in OSP, after a particularly bad quarrel with Kensi (he was actually starting to wonder if he would ever go home again). He could hear someone relentlessly punching the bag in the gym, and he knew it was Kensi. He hated himself for driving her to do what she had never done before to express her negative emotions, and he was more sorry than he could say…but there didn't seem to be anything he – either of them – could do. It was like they were stuck in this unending cycle of warm friendship, uneasy acquaintanceship, and arguments that hurt both of them. And unfortunately, the 'warm friendship' part had lately ceased to exist.<em>

_ Callen did not sleep that night. He lay on the couch, listening to Kensi torture the punching bag until well into the wee hours of the morning. When she finally stopped and made her way out of the gym, he turned on his side and pretended to be asleep, all the while feeling her eyes on him until she left OSP for the night._

_ When she was gone, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, losing himself in his thoughts._

* * *

><p>The service was short, straightforward, and to the point. The pastor did not waste time allowing the congregation to see the body – Sam had asked him not to. It would have been too painful.<p>

The congregation, incidentally, was also exceedingly small. Not many people knew the real Callen well enough to attend his funeral, but the few who were there were the closest there was.

Of course, there was his team – Sam, Kensi, and Deeks. Then there was Hetty, his Operations Manager and the closest thing to a mother he'd known; Eric and Nell, as the two technicians in Ops who were part of his small circle of friends; Renko, who had taken a temporary leave from his assignment to attend; and several other OSP agents, who had come to pay their respects to the legendary agent who could become anyone.

Anyone, Kensi reflected bitterly, except the man she wanted him to be.

Director Vance was also there, having just flown in from D.C. that morning. He might be a fairly strict commander, but he cared for each and every agent under his command – and G Callen was one of the best. With him were Leroy Jethro Gibbs – a man who'd known Callen almost as long as Hetty had – and Abby Sciuto, who had absolutely refused to stay behind once she heard where Gibbs was going and why. The normally cheerful, upbeat Goth had tears in her eyes, and was cradled in Gibbs' arms for comfort. Gibbs himself kept his face stoic, composed; to an outsider it might have seemed as though he hardly cared – but everyone there knew he was hurting badly.

After the service, the coffin was carried out to the small graveyard. Kensi watched as the undertakers lowered it into the cavity of soil that had been dug earlier.

"Easy, Kensi," Deeks consoled, supporting her with his arm as she swayed where she stood, feeling like the air had been sucked out of her as the coffin sank beneath the earth.

Kensi's strangled sob was the only answer he got.

The pastor gave a short eulogy, blessing the remains and praying for Callen to find peace in his death, before the undertakers started shoveling dirt over the coffin.

And suddenly Kensi felt like she couldn't breathe anymore.

Oh, she tried. She strained to draw breath into her lungs, but the oxygen she desperately sought evaded her. Spots danced in front of her vision, turning it red, blue, and yellow. Her chest heaved empty gasps and her legs shook beneath her.

"Kensi?" Deeks asked anxiously.

Sam had noticed what was happening as well – and he rushed over to the two partners, hoping he was not about to lose another teammate.

"Kensi!" he cried, helping Deeks support her. Together, they lowered her onto the ground so she could relax and breathe easier.

"Breathe, Kensi," Sam said urgently, massaging her shoulders.

By now everyone was watching. Hetty and Renko approached the trio to see how they could help.

"What's happening?" Renko questioned.

"It's too much for her," Hetty said, shaking her head.

"Are you saying she's dying?" Deeks demanded. The idea was ludicrous. Physically, Kensi was in perfect health.

"I did not say that, Mr. Deeks," Hetty disagreed.

Kensi could hear them talking, as if from far away. Her vision was swimming and her head felt light. She wondered if she really was dying.

It had to be better than living with the misery of a world without Callen.

_Yes, it would be better,_ she decided. _Infinitely so._

So, giving up, Kensi Blye closed her eyes and surrendered to the thick, black, inky darkness.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Yup, I killed him (ducks rotten tomatoes).**_

_**And with this, I have broken another record - I have NEVER, ever before, killed a character in a multi-chaptered story and had them STAY dead. Permanent deaths have only occurred in my one-shots - until today. Hey, I told you this chapter surprised me.**_

_**So, anyways, the tie-ins to the show in this chapter don't come from any specific episode, except **Plan B **(Season 2 Episode 22).**_

_**Now, today is my sixteenth birthday - and guess what the best present you could give me is? Reviews, of course! Give me some love! ;)  
><strong>_


	12. Two Days Later

_**A/N: Okay, I knew I'd have some complaints about my killing Callen off, but man! - I didn't expect your theories. A lot of you wanted to believe it was a dream on Kensi's part - and one wondered if it was an undercover op. **_

_**Well, I don't want to give anything away...so here's Chapter 11 for you! **_

_**P.S. Thanks to **Rebel Magnus, DizzyDrea, terken, SP SVU B, vampiregirl2009 wolfgirl 77769, cdfuller21, Allie, TwilightPony21, **and **ChlollieRockz **for reviewing! And thanks for all your birthday wishes!  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 11: Two Days Later<em>

The lights were way too bright.

Kensi groaned and squeezed her eyes shut, rectifying the mistake she'd made in opening them in the first place. She drew in a deep breath. She hated hospitals.

Wait a minute.

Why was she even _in _the hospital? What was she doing in bed? Why could she feel an IV needle in her hand? Why was there an oxygen mask over her face? And _why_ (she added to her growing list of questions) did it hurt so much to breathe?

"I think she's coming out of it," someone said from next to her. The voice was unquestionably familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. She could definitely recognize the immense relief in it, though.

_Come on! _she groaned inwardly. _Don't tell me it was that bad. _ That would really screw up her tough girl reputation big time.

"She is?" Another familiar voice, going from soft to loud, indicating that the speaker was coming towards her.

_Oh, man, _she groused. It really _was_ that resigned herself to enduring the concerns and "How are you feeling?"s of her anxious teammates for the next couple of days, at least. Anything that was bad enough to land her unconscious in the hospital with an oxygen mask over her face and two or more people in the room with her would almost certainly entail all of that – and more.

Then she got the shock of her life.

"Kensi?"

_That _voice she would know anywhere. _That _voice she would be able to identify even through the heaviest and haziest of fogs. _That _voice was now as much a part of her as her own identity.

But how the _hell _was this possible?

Her pulse sped up, against her permission. Kensi could hear it because a shrill beeping sound was accompanying her every heartbeat.

Wonderful. So she was hooked up to a heart monitor, too. Could this day get any worse?

"Kensi, shh!" that same voice said, soothingly. "It's all right. You're okay. Relax."

Kensi did. His voice had a calming effect on her, and her heart resumed its normal pace. Kensi could almost feel the relief radiating from the people in the room – or, more accurately, the person standing right next to her – who also happened to be holding her hand.

That still didn't clear up the mystery, though.

Forcing herself to open her eyes, Kensi squinted against the glare of the hospital lights and tried to stare through her reflexively blinking eyelids.

Vision was blurry at first, but after the first few blinks, it cleared up somewhat. A face came into focus, hovering anxiously above her.

Her heart went into overdrive again.

"Kenz…" he began.

_No. _She recoiled from him, trying to wrench her hand away from his – unsuccessfully, for he was holding it rather firmly. Not uncomfortably, but not easy to get out of in her weakened state.

This was _not _possible. He'd died…she'd seen him die…she'd gone to his funeral…

_And then what?_

Her mind drew a blank. What had happened after the funeral?

"Kensi, it's us." Another familiar face swam into view – this one with blond hair and a scruffy chin. "It's okay, you're safe. We're all here."

Kensi blinked up at Deeks' concerned face. What did he mean, 'all of them'?

As her pulse gradually slowed again, she cautiously turned her head, taking in her surroundings.

_Oh, man._

Deeks was right; _everyone _was here. There were Eric and Nell, standing together, keeping their distance, giving her space; there was Sam, smiling at her from not too far away; there was Nate, leaning against the wall with Hetty next to him; and there was Renko, sitting cross-legged in the chair and looking at her. On her immediate right was Deeks, every inch the concerned partner.

And on her left, letting go of her hand – no doubt he'd felt her feeble attempts to pry away from his grasp – was G Callen.

And – big surprise – her pulse started racing again.

Callen glanced worriedly at the accelerating heart monitor.

"Kenz, it's okay," he soothed. "It's me."

When she just looked at him with the oddest expression – like a mixture of confusion and incredulity – he started to wonder, with a plummeting heart, if perhaps she had experienced some memory loss. Or, the more painful option was that she simply didn't want him there.

Kensi reached up to lift the oxygen mask away from her face – but Deeks' hand stopped her.

"Don't do that," he told her.

She scowled fiercely at him, a challenge in her eyes. _Don't tell me what to do, Marty Deeks. _He chuckled and removed his hand.

"Okay, have it your way."

She did. Without further ado, she lifted the mask, freeing her mouth and nose. Now she could finally talk.

"What happened?" she queried, avoiding Callen's probing gaze – indeed, she was avoiding even looking at him.

"You got shot, Kensi," Sam informed her, walking over. "Twice. During the op, with Gordon, remember?"

Kensi frowned. Yes, she did remember the op…but it was Callen who got shot, not her…

She warily turned her gaze to the left, looking straight into the ice blue eyes she thought she'd never see again.

"What are you doing here?" she blurted out.

For the briefest of moments, she could have sworn he looked hurt – but then, being the consummate professional he was, he concealed it.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

Kensi shook her head slightly, trying to think. She was clearly missing something here.

"Wrong question," she admitted. "I meant, how are you alive?"

He was confused by the question – she could see it in the quirk of his eyebrow, the sudden wary tensing of his features.

"What do you mean?" he inquired. "I wasn't hurt, Kenz; you were." He exhaled. "You had us all worried for a minute there."

Now this was just getting bizarre. Since when had she been shot? Kensi screwed her eyes shut again, flinching away from the whirling vortex of bewilderment that was assaulting her. This was just too much to take.

That was when she realized that the growing discomfort in her chest and lower abdomen was actually getting quite painful. She cringed at how sore she felt.

"I believe Miss Blye needs a moment to herself," Hetty suggested.

Obligingly, they all left the room, leaving Hetty alone with Kensi. The older woman walked over to Kensi.

"We'll come back later, dear," she said in her matronly way. "Meanwhile, I'll get the nurse to up your morphine."

Not knowing how else to respond, Kensi nodded minutely, still trying to make sense of the illogical world she'd woken up in.

* * *

><p>Callen rubbed his eyes absent-mindedly as he tried to sort through his muddled thoughts.<p>

The first thing he thought of was the fact that he could relax again. He didn't think he'd been even the slightest bit at ease for over a week.

He tried to get the picture of Kensi bleeding on the ground out of his head. It almost felt like he'd been the one who was shot, who was slipping away…he'd known what Simmons was going to do, but he'd been too slow to stop it.

He hadn't managed to save her – again.

Breathing deeply, Callen leaned against the wall, trying to look nonchalant, even though on the inside he was anything but. For the last two days he'd been reliving his greatest nightmare, fearing that he was going to lose the one woman he cared most for, for the second time in his life.

When Sharon had been shot, he'd thought that was the worst day of his life. Now he knew he'd been wrong.

The worst day of his life was the day before yesterday, when _Kensi_ had been shot.

* * *

><p><em>The two shots uncovered a deep-seated fear he'd kept buried for years now. He saw, as if in slow motion, Kensi toppling to the ground, bleeding far too much out of the two bullet holes in her. He wanted to cry out, to say something to ease the panic in her wide brown eyes, but his breath had left him; his mouth was dry and silent.<em>

_ He whipped his head back to Simmons' impassive face as the latter swung his gun around to shoot him now, while Gordon watched in glee._

_ Callen knew he would never be able to dodge the shot, and he wasn't sure he wanted to, after what was almost certainly a fatal injury had been inflicted on Kensi. He didn't think he could bear to live through that a second time._

_ All this passed through his mind in the blink of an eye – not enough time to move even if he wanted to – and if he stood there for another blink, he would almost definitely die._

_ But the next instant brought backup. Sam, Deeks, Nate, and Renko all charged in, announcing their presence. Their entrance cleared his head, and, acting on reflex, he ducked, throwing himself to the ground, as bullets flew overhead._

_ When the gunfight stopped there was not a villain alive – the agents had done their job well._

_ But that didn't erase the nightmare that was still unfolding._

_ Deeks rushed to Kensi, tearing off his shirt to staunch the bleeding of her wounds, while Sam roared to Eric for an ambulance. Nate and Renko employed a professional detachment until they had scouted the back._

_ "Ambulance is on its way," Sam informed them tersely. "Hang in there, Kensi." He exchanged a short glance with Callen, whose normally calm eyes betrayed his great fear._

* * *

><p><em> At the hospital, the doctors ordered them all away as they rushed Kensi to the operating room. Callen's ears rang with the medical jargon.<em>

_ "Female Caucasian, late twenties. Two GSW's to the chest and lower abdomen."_

_ "Clear OR 3!"_

_ "Hang two units of B positive."_

_ "Page Dr. Flemming!"_

_"BP's dropping."_

_ "She's going into V-fib – we need to get her to surgery stat!"_

_ And so on and so forth. Callen didn't even understand half of what they were saying. All he knew was that Kensi was in very bad shape._

* * *

><p><em> She'd made it through surgery, but she wasn't out of the woods yet. The doctors couldn't say if she would wake up – if she did, they said, then she would have a better chance of recovery.<em>

_ "And if she doesn't?" Nate inquired, afraid to hear the answer._

_ The doctor looked grave as he replied, "Then it means her body has shut down and can't recover from her injuries."_

* * *

><p>Callen had spent the last two days in an agony of waiting, longing for Kensi to open her eyes. When she finally did, it was like the sun had come out. He could breathe again.<p>

She still had a long road ahead of her, but the doctors were optimistic. Now, the thing that had Callen worried was the fact that she couldn't seem to understand why he was here.

"How are you, Mr. Callen?"

Callen glanced up to see a familiar short figure drop down into the seat beside him. She handed him the cup she was carrying.

"Here," she said. "Coffee to soothe the nerves."

Callen accepted it, but didn't drink it, instead leaving it on his lap.

"Why's she acting this way, Hetty?" he asked.

Hetty shrugged. "She's been through a great ordeal, Mr. Callen. It's understandable for her to be a little disoriented. I'm afraid it will be some time before she's fully herself again."

"She almost didn't make it." Even as he said it, Callen was amazed – and horrified – by how close Kensi had come to death.

"Indeed, Mr. Callen," Hetty agreed solemnly. She sighed. "I must admit, this morning, when she flatlined…I thought it was the end."

Callen nodded, seemingly absently, but inside he was shrinking away from the memory. To hide his anxiety, he took a sip of his coffee.

* * *

><p><em>The loud, frenzied clamor of several machines beeping rapidly claimed all their attention. Callen, Sam, and Deeks rushed into the room, where Nell had hurriedly jumped up from the chair she'd been sitting in to stare uncertainly through wide, fearful eyes at Kensi's shaking body.<em>

_ An instant later, trained to respond immediately to such a situation, the doctors flooded into the room while the nurses attempted to forcibly remove them from the ward. They stopped trying to persuade the adamant agents, however, when Hetty appeared. Giving up, they turned their attention to helping the doctors._

_ "She's seizing – give me four milligrams of diazepam, stat!" a doctor called._

_ The drug was quickly prescribed by one of the nurses and handed to the doctor, who injected it into Kensi's IV._

_ The effect was immediate; Kensi stopped shaking, her body growing still._

_ But any breath of relief the agents might draw was cut off when Kensi's heart monitor flatlined with a long, loud whine. When he heard it, Callen felt like his own heart had stopped._

_ "V-fib!" the doctor declared. "Paddles," she ordered._

_ The first shock caused Kensi's body to arch upwards, but it didn't restart her heart. _

_ Sam looked on anxiously._

_The second jolt was much the same as the first._

_"Come on, Kensi," Deeks muttered, half to himself._

_The third attempt was more successful, causing the heart tone to spike a few times before leveling out again._

Almost there, _Callen thought to himself, silently urging her to fight just a little harder._

_The fourth try, again, caused no change._

_Nell had tears running freely down her face. She was absolutely sure Kensi was going to die._

_And finally, the fifth charge succeeded in pulling Kensi's heart back into its normal rhythm. _

_"Pulse has stabilized," a nurse reported._

_The doctor, heaving a sigh of relief, replaced the paddles._

_And, unnoticed by anyone, Henrietta Lange breathed her own puff of relief and quietly thanked heaven for bringing their agent back to them._

* * *

><p>"I think," Hetty said, bringing Callen back to the present, "it is clear that something is bothering Kensi about your presence here." Her face assumed a wry expression. "Judging from what I've seen, she seems to be under the impression that you were the one who got shot, not her."<p>

Callen looked puzzled. "But that makes no sense," he objected.

"Actually," interjected Nate as he came over, "it's quite plausible that while she was unconscious, her mind generated a vivid dream, an alternate reality in which you were the one who was shot."

"And did I die in that reality?" Callen asked, half-sarcastically. The notion was…well, bizarre, to say the least.

"Probably," Nate admitted. "At least, Kensi seems to think you're dead. That would explain why she reacted so oddly to you just now."

"But now that she's woken up, she should know that that's not true, right?" Nell, who had been listening to the conversation, queried.

"Not necessarily," Nate disagreed. "Kensi was unconscious for two days, and the brain is a powerful thing. In her mind, she might possibly have lived every minute of those days in the alternate reality where Callen died, and now that she's woken up to the real world, she's finding it difficult to accept the truth."

"Why?" Sam wanted to know. "If I thought Callen was dead and then I woke up and found out he's still alive, I'd be more than happy to accept it."

"That's not the point, Sam," Nate said patiently. "Kensi's mind has created such a powerful dream that it is very real to her. It was her only reality for two days. Now that she sees what really happened, she's understandably shocked and confused. She can't accept that the past two days have only existed in her own imagination."

"But she will eventually, right?" Eric inquired worriedly.

"Eventually, yes," Nate replied.

"Why do you think this happened, Nate?" Hetty inquired.

Nate shrugged. "There are many factors that could account for why she created her own reality. Stress, trauma, emotional turmoil…"

Callen might have imagined that Nate glanced sideways at him as he said that last one, but somehow he doubted it.

"Whatever it was, she needs time to come to terms with the 'new' reality," Nate finished.

Now Callen was sure it wasn't his imagination – the operational psychologist looked right at him.

"Maybe it would help if someone close to her went in and explained everything slowly to her," Nate suggested.

Callen raised an eyebrow.

"Not you," Nate added quickly. "The source of her confusion _is _you – having _you _explain it to her might make things worse." He turned his gaze to Deeks. "But maybe her partner will be able to sort things out."

Said LAPD liaison nodded in agreement. Then, without a word, he rose and entered Kensi's room.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: So...guess my record's NOT broken after all - Callen didn't stay dead. You can thank the fact that I am a permanently incurable optimist for that. That being said, I'm afraid this "twist" didn't turn out as surprising or as "twisty" as I'd hoped - because you guys apparently are optimists too, and guessed that it was a dream. Way to spoil the surprise, people._**

**_No episode references today - but I'm sure you've noticed the parallels between the scenes of Callen-got-shot and Kensi-got-shot. I purposely wrote it like that so it would make more sense - you know, because Kensi's subconscious would have picked up on some of what was going on around her. _**


	13. Three Days Later

_**A/N: Many, many thanks to my seven reviewers **DizzyDrea, SP SVU B, cdfuller23, terken, Rebel Magnus, TwilightPony21, **and **ChlollieRockz**! You guys are seriously awesome!**_

_**This chapter is unique in several ways. It has no flashback, unlike previous chapters; it is all one scene; it includes only Callen and Kensi; and it's the last proper chapter of this story. **_

_**Oh, yes - and the mystery of Laura is solved, too.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 12: Three Days Later<em>

Kensi awoke to find Callen sitting by her bed in the visitor's chair. She blinked twice at him, as if making sure he was real.

For his part, Callen saw that she was awake and smiled warmly at her. "Hey, Kenz."

"Hey." She paused as she carefully pushed herself up into a sitting position, then continued, "Deeks told me…it was all just a dream?" Her voice was unsure, betraying the insecurities she was trying to hide.

"It was." Callen leaned forward and grasped her hand to assure her. "It was just a dream, Kenz. I'm here, I'm fine, and I'm not going anywhere." He smiled. "I promised, remember?"

Kensi's lips smiled back slightly of their own accord, even if her brain was still trying to wrap itself around the fact that _Callen was alive. _

"Yes," she agreed, "you did." She sobered as she remembered how, in her dream, he had failed to keep that promise. Here, in the real world, he was still upholding his word – but with their line of work, was there really any guarantee?

Callen noticed the crease in her brow that indicated she was thinking of something that was bothering her.

"Kensi, it's okay. I'm not gonna leave," he assured her.

She smiled sadly. "I know. But what about next time? What happens when we have to put ourselves in danger again? Will you still be there?"

Callen didn't say anything. He knew as well as she did that no matter how much he might want to, he couldn't truly guarantee that he would keep his promise.

"I don't know, Kenz," he admitted. "But I promise I'll try my hardest to keep my promise."

Even she had to smile at how roundabout that was.

"You've been making me a lot of promises," she noted.

Callen smiled. "It's the least I can do, after everything you've given me." He grew serious. "I owe you, Kenz."

"Yes, you do." Kensi fell silent, staring at the wall. She could still recall every part of her dream so clearly…and there was one part of it that was circling around in her mind, refusing to go away. She closed her eyes, hoping she could forget it soon.

"Who's Laura?" Callen enquired suddenly.

"What?" Kensi opened her eyes again to stare intently at him. "Where'd you hear that name?"

"You were talking in your sleep, Kenz."

"I was?" Dimly, she remembered the memory she'd been reliving in her head while she slept. She was beginning to think she needed several weeks of psychotherapy from Nate; lately, her mind seemed to delight in providing her with scenarios she didn't like at all.

"Yeah." Callen looked at her quizzically. "So, who's Laura?"

She tried to dodge, to find an excuse not to say anything, to come up with a deceptive half-truth – but it wouldn't come. "Laura was…Laura was…" she fumbled. "Never mind who Laura was."

"Kensi." His hand covered hers. "You were tossing and turning. I know it's something that bothers you."

She wanted to laugh; the situation was right back to where it was two weeks ago – with him wanting to find out more about her, but still unwilling to share his past with her.

"Tell you what," she decided. "I'll tell you about Laura, if you tell me something about you."

His posture turned careful, guarded – but not entirely defensive. She took confidence in that.

"Okay," he agreed.

"And you go first."

Callen raised an eyebrow. She just looked straight back at him, holding his gaze.

"All right," he relented. His mind cast around for the many topics he could choose to delve into, and settled on the most important – his relationship with Sharon.

It was time to come clean.

So, for the next forty minutes, Callen told Kensi about Sharon, the first woman he had ever let into his life.

"She didn't exactly give me a choice," he said wryly. "I tried to keep her out, but she would have none of it." He chuckled. "Kind of like you."

Kensi smiled back, but it did not reach her eyes. She could hear Callen's pain underneath the layers of concealment in his voice – even after all these years, she could tell that Sharon's death still haunted him. Nobody deserved this sort of pain, least of all G Callen, after everything else he had been through. If she'd known, she never would have made him tell her. She knew all too well what it was like to relive painful experiences.

"Callen, I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely.

He looked surprised. "For what, Kenz?"

"Making you tell me. I know it couldn't have been easy for you."

"Hey." He touched her hand. "Don't worry about it. Besides," he added, "it's your turn now."

Kensi sighed, indicating her concurrence even as she braced herself. This retelling was going to hurt – especially since it would be the first time she'd ever spoken about it to anyone.

"When I was in college," she began, "I had a friend. Her name was Laura Redmond. She was a Marine brat, like me. We hit it off immediately, and when we found out we both wanted to go into law enforcement…well, wild horses couldn't have separated us." A small, gentle smile graced her face. "We were best friends for three years."

Here Kensi swallowed; they were approaching the difficult part of this story. She wished she could say different, claim that it had a happy ending – but that would be lying. And she had had enough of lies.

"Early in our final year," she continued, striving to make sure her voice didn't tremble, "we were walking home one night, when this…guy…jumped in front of us with a gun. We didn't even know him – we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

She refrained from mentioning that she had agonized, for months after, _why _the whole sordid event had happened. Why that night? Why them? Why not someone else, some other time? These questions, she had come to realize, would never be answered – it was just a tragic occurrence, brought about by the merciless actions of a cold-hearted killer who didn't even need a motive.

"I froze, Callen," Kensi admitted softly. "I couldn't move…I didn't know what to do…" She looked disgusted by her past inability. "But Laura…" She drew a shuddering breath. "Laura jumped in front of me just as he was pulling the trigger." She closed her eyes in memory, willing herself not to cry. She'd cried enough.

Callen rubbed her hand comfortingly, wordlessly encouraging her to continue, even as his heart squeezed painfully with sympathy. He couldn't believe Kensi had been through so much tragedy in her twenty-nine years. No wonder she'd wanted a real relationship, wanted him to become a constant, someone she could count on – she needed the sense of security, after all the loss she'd experienced.

And he hadn't been able to give it to her…

"I don't know what would have happened if a cop hadn't happened to be on his neighborhood beat nearby," Kensi said, pulling Callen's attention back to the story. "He came rushing over the minute he heard the gunshot; the perp ran when he heard him. If it hadn't been for that cop, I probably wouldn't be here."

Callen's grip on her hand tightened.

"It was too late for Laura, though," Kensi went on. Her tone had dropped to almost a whisper. "We called an ambulance and it took her to the hospital, but…" She inhaled sharply. "She fell into a coma after the surgery, and died about two weeks later." She blew out the breath she'd been holding and glanced back up at Callen, her fathomless brown eyes swimming with regret and disappointment.

"And what really kills me, Callen, is that we never found the son of a bitch who killed Laura. He vanished after that night." Kensi's next words hitched in her throat. "I'll never forget the look on her father's face when I told him the authorities had closed the investigation. We both protested, but there was nothing we could do…our guy had disappeared, and we couldn't find him." She stared off at a point beyond Callen's head, lost in the memory. "That was the day I decided to apply for NCIS. I wanted to be part of a naval agency, so I could help bring closure to the families of other Marines – closure Mr. Redmond and I never got."

Callen knew Kensi wasn't just talking about closure over Laura's case – her statement applied to her father, too. He nodded understandingly, his face wearing an expression of deep sympathy. But he was still a little confused about one thing.

"Why was it suddenly bothering you just now?" he inquired.

Kensi sighed – then winced as her wounded abdomen muscles ached at the action.

"It's nothing," she said dismissively. At Callen's skeptical look, she reluctantly elaborated, "It's just…I think that dream of mine stirred up my subconscious, causing it to dredge up the memory. I…I remember thinking, in my dream, that the situation was so much like Laura's…waiting around, fearing the worst…" She trailed off, her eyes distant. Callen squeezed her hand.

"Kensi, listen." His tone had changed; it was earnest now, filled with more emotion than he usually allowed. Kensi realized, with a sudden clarity of insight, that Callen had let his mask slip, revealing the true man underneath. "I cared a lot about Sharon. I…I loved her. But I never told her. It's the biggest regret I have." He could feel his eyes mist up as, after all these years, he finally admitted his pain. "Kensi, _I never told Sharon that I loved her._"

Kensi had to admit, she felt a little jealous of this Sharon, who had known Callen so well – better than she did. But she couldn't remain envious for long, especially when she saw just how much Callen was hurting. She reached out with her hand to touch her palm to his cheek.

"That's why you have your rule, isn't it?" she said gently. "The one about dating cops."

"Yeah," he admitted. He sniffed dryly. "Look at us," he said, deprecatingly. "We're really screwed up. Both of us had serious relationships that ended badly, so we both made up rules about dating…and then all that went out the window when I visited you on Christmas Eve. And then we kept alternating – hot and cold, then warm, then cool…"

Kensi chuckled weakly. "What a pair we are," she remarked.

"What a pair," Callen agreed. "But Kenz," he said, "have you ever thought that maybe it's _because _we're both so damaged that we're in this relationship?"

Kensi frowned thoughtfully. "Sometimes," she confessed. "I mean, it's like we're good for each other, in that way – because we both know what it's like to have a relationship that was so promising snatched away from us. We wouldn't be able to find anyone else who could understand that."

"And we both know how it feels to lose someone we love," Callen added.

"I know." Kensi nodded; but her eyes had narrowed slightly. This was leading up to something – she just knew it. "Where are you going with this, Callen?"

Callen took a deep breath. "Kensi, you said before that you wanted me to try to be the person you wanted – someone who would be there for you no matter what."

"Right," she agreed, still suspicious.

"And I told you I couldn't," Callen continued. "At first I thought I said no because I didn't think I could be the man you deserved."

"You were wrong?" she inquired, half-skeptically. What was he hoping to achieve with this?

"I was wrong," he confirmed. "Kensi, the reason I said no wasn't because I thought I couldn't be that person. Deep down, I guess I knew I could, because I'd done it before. The truth is, I said no because of purely selfish reasons."

"If you're trying to make it up to me for what happened between us, you're not exactly doing a good job of endearing yourself," she pointed out. Honestly, she was having a little trouble keeping up with him. The painkillers she was on could really do a number on her cognitive abilities.

"Hear me out, Kenz." There was a twinkle in his eyes, but his face was serious – as was his tone. "I said no…because I was afraid…not because I couldn't be who you wanted…but because I thought _you _couldn't be what I wanted."

Kensi blinked. "What?" she asked in confusion. This was making no sense at all._ Damn the painkillers._

"After I lost Sharon, I gave up on ever finding someone," Callen confided. "I thought no one would be able to understand me as well as she did – and anyway, I thought was so damaged, so scarred from the experience, that I wouldn't be able to have a serious relationship again." Here he broke into a smile, and it was like the sun coming out. "You proved me wrong, Kenz."

Kensi was feeling a little tongue-tied by this startling and rather unexpected declaration. "I'm glad to hear it," she said, a little thickly.

Unfortunately for her, she reflected somewhat wryly, this didn't exactly change anything between Callen and her. They were still on that knife point, balancing between one outcome and another.

Callen noticed this and chuckled. "You don't get it, do you, Kenz?"

She shook her head, bemused. Callen smiled.

"Kenz, I told you earlier what I regret most in my life." She nodded. He continued, "I'm not gonna make the same mistake again."

Then, slowly, gradually, _wonderfully_, the truth began to dawn on her.

"The past few days have been hell, plain and simple," Callen went on. "I was reliving what happened with Sharon, and I was so scared I was going to lose you too. But then you pulled through. And I felt like I'd been given a second chance. So I'm not gonna waste it." He bent closer, until she could feel his warm breath tickling her forehead. "I love you, Kensi Marie Blye. And I'm ready."

She gaped at him, incredulous, the aching soreness in her wounds forgotten.

"And just so you know," he added lightly, "that's the first time I've said those three little words to any woman who wasn't my mother or sister."

And with that, a comfortable sense of certainty settled over her heart, and Kensi knew it was there to stay. It was like the world had suddenly opened up, revealing the many wonderful possibilities it held for her and Callen.

And Kensi recalled the one part of her painful dream that stood out like a blinding beacon of hope – the one part she'd wished were true, because God knows she had never been brave enough to do it in real life.

The part where she'd leaned close to Callen and whispered something into his ear.

The whisper: _"I love you."  
><em>

Now it was time to bring that act out of dream world and into real life.

After several seconds, Kensi managed to find her voice. "Well," she said, "I can't claim the same for myself about men, but…" She hesitated. "I love you too, G Callen." She smiled. "And for the record, that's the first time I've said it to _anyone_ since Jack." She added softly, "And I'm ready, too."

"Good to know," said Callen.

And then he kissed her, finally accepting their connection for what it was – a real relationship, with all the ups and downs, but with the love that made it all worth it anyway.

It wasn't a brand-new beginning – because why on earth would they want to start all over again after everything they had been through? – but it was a beginning, nonetheless.

And Kensi Blye, for one, loved it.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Awwww..._**

**_It's surprisingly hard to come up with a good Callen/Kensi romance scene, did you know? Neither of them are particularly emotional or open, and that makes it tough to write...but I like to think I do it justice. Hopefully you think so too._**

**_So, anyway, that's the last chapter of _**_When Things Go Wrong **- but don't go away, because there's an epilogue coming tomorrow!**_

**_ Now I'm going to go watch Kensi kick butt in Hawaii Five-0 ;D I've been waiting for that episode for ages._**


	14. Epilogue

_**A/N: Man, I feel so cheated. I can't believe how lame the Five-0 episode was in terms of a crossover. I got all excited when Kensi appeared right in the beginning, and I was like, "Oh, cool, she comes in so early!" Then I didn't see her at all for the rest of the episode and I went, "What? You mean she only appeared for three minutes? THAT's your crossover?" I am so disappointed. Sigh.**_

_**Still, at least I have the real thing to watch today - NCIS Los Angeles in action! So, while you guys read this final epilogue (which will, sadly, end the story), I'm gonna go watch **Lone Wolf**.**_

_**Thanks to all my reviewers **DizzyDrea, SP SVU B, redmangan23, Rebel Magnus, cdfuller21, terken, Izzie, **and **evershort**!**_

* * *

><p><em>Epilogue<em>

"Callen, what's going on?" Kensi asked suspiciously as he drove her home. He had been entirely too bright and cheerful ever since picking her up from the hospital. She was extremely happy to be out of the medicinal-smelling building, and glad to be on her feet again – but Callen's demeanor gave her the feeling he was up to something.

"Nothing. Why?" Callen inquired, a little _too _innocently. Kensi scowled.

"What are you up to, Callen?" she demanded.

"Would you just relax?" he asked her. "It's your first day out of the hospital – we don't want you to strain yourself imagining things that aren't real. We had enough of that the first two days." His lip quirked in humor, but the corners of his eyes creased at the thought of how real the situation could have been.

Kensi narrowed her eyes at him, but decided not to press the matter. Instead, she queried, "How come Deeks and Sam didn't come to pick me up too?"

"They're busy with a case," Callen responded. "They send their apologies."

"Hmm." Callen could hear that Kensi wasn't entirely convinced, but he kept up with the act. She'd find out soon enough, anyway.

When they reached Kensi's house and she saw the car parked there – a car that was definitely _not _her own – she began to have an inkling of what was going on.

"Callen…" she began.

"Shh!" he hushed her as he helped her out of the car. "Just wait."

Kensi mumbled something under her breath.

The two of them made their way to the front door, Callen supporting Kensi. The door was unlocked (_Of course it is, _Kensi grumbled to herself), so Callen didn't bother with a key and simply pushed it open.

_Here it comes, _Kensi thought, as they entered the living room.

Sure enough…

"SURPRISE!" Sam, Deeks, Eric, and Nell shouted as one. Hetty, although she refrained from joining in the chorus, was there too. On the coffee table was a large, elaborately iced cake bearing the words 'Welcome Back, Kensi'.

Kensi heaved a huge sigh, assuming a fierce glare. "I thought I told you I didn't want a party."

"You did." Deeks grinned, unrepentant. "We ignored you."

"I should've known," Kensi muttered. "When have you ever listened to anything I say?"

"Actually, I was seriously reconsidering my idea after you promised you'd kill me if I followed through with the party," Deeks admitted, "but Renko persuaded me to keep at it. He told me to tell you you aren't allowed to skip out on it."

"_Renko _told you to do this?" Kensi glowered, searching the room even though she knew she wouldn't find him. "Where is he?"

"He had to take off on assignment." Sam smirked. "Away from your wrath."

"Lucky guy," Callen agreed.

"Hetty, they got you into this too?" Kensi asked disbelievingly.

"But of course, Miss Blye," Hetty replied with a wide smile. "I could never resist a good party."

Kensi sighed, but she smiled too. "Nate?" she questioned as she lowered herself into a chair.

"Back in Yemen," Nell answered. "He left this for you, though." She handed Kensi an envelope with her name written on it in Nate's neat handwriting. Curious, Kensi opened it and slid out the folded paper in it.

The message was short, but heartwarming.

_Kensi, sorry I couldn't be there, but duty calls. I'm really glad you're okay, though. And you and Callen are going to be fine – and more than fine. See you when I get back._

_Regards,_

_Nate_

As she folded the paper back again, Kensi felt her lips quirk in a soft smile.

Callen had been wrong, that Christmas Eve last year, when this had all started. He'd said that there were six people – Sam, Deeks, Eric, Nell, Hetty, and himself – whom she could count on. Kensi knew now that she didn't have six people – she had eight; Nate and Renko counted too, because even though they were away a lot, they always came back.

"Callen," she said, leaning into him as their teammates cut the cake (Deeks was bagging the first piece and annoying Sam, who was holding the cake knife and threatening to slice Deeks with it if he didn't shut up). "You were wrong."

Callen raised an eyebrow as he pulled her close. "About what?"

"I don't have six people I can count on." Kensi smiled. "I have a family."

Callen smiled back and kissed her forehead. "_We _have a family."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: And that, my amigos, is the end. It's been really great having you all along for the ride, and I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. A big thank you to everyone who reviewed favorited, and/or subscribed to this story, and I'll see you next time!**_


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